Madeleine Vieira 9/19/22 Madeleine Vieira 9/19/22

Toddler Development: Your Chatty and Curious 31 to 36 Month-Old

How fast children grow! Your child is already almost three years old. You may be wondering where the time goes.

At this stage, you probably can’t get your toddler to stop asking questions and asserting his independence! And with good reason. There are many things your toddler can do by himself at this age and the wide world fascinates him.

Watch in amazement as your toddler tackles so many tasks all on his own! He can ride a tricycle, put on his shoes, brush his teeth and say his name.

You’ve done such a great job helping him grow. And the learning will only continue. The world delights and surprises him at every turn.

How fast children grow! Your child is already almost three years old. You may be wondering where the time goes.

Watch in amazement as your toddler tackles so many tasks all on his own! He can ride a tricycle, put on his shoes, brush his teeth and say his name.

You’ve done such a great job helping him grow. And the learning will only continue. The world delights and surprises him at every turn.

Let’s see what else you can expect from your 31- to 36-month-old and how you can encourage his healthy development.

Toddler Development: Your Toddler from 31 to 36 Months

Vocabulary Development

Your 36-month-old can already say 900 to 1000 words!(1) This probably doesn’t come as too much of a shock—I bet you can’t get your three-year-old to stop talking! You’ve done such a great job facilitating your toddler’s vocabulary development by reading, singing, and talking to them. Give yourself a pat on the back and keep engaging with them as they grow.

At this age, your toddler wants to know how everything works. You’ve probably noticed your toddler asks a ton of questions. Some of them you may not know how to answer! Don’t be afraid to encourage their exploration further. Head to the library to pick up a children’s book on the topic of their choice. Read it together and talk about what you learned.

Potty Training

If your child wasn’t previously ready to use the potty, don’t worry. 18 to 36 months is a big age range to start toilet training. Many children don’t start potty training until they’re on the older end of the spectrum.(2) The “right time” varies widely from child to child. Using the toilet is a skill your child has to learn, just like having to learn to walk, talk, and use a spoon or a cup!(2)

You can tell your child is ready for potty training if they:(2)

Begin to show an interest (e.g. they want to be dry and clean, they want to wear “big kid” underwear, they wonder what happens when you go to the bathroom)
Stay dry for two hours or longer when they’re awake
Wake up with a dry diaper
Are aware when they need to go (e.g. they pee/poop in private or point to their diaper as they’re going)
Show independence by saying they can do it themselves (e.g. feeding, dressing)
Can follow directions and communicate well with you
Are able to sit still
Can run and walk well
Can undress themselves

It can be challenging to know when your toddler is ready to start potty training. But if you keep an eye out for the signs outlined above, you’ll be well on your way. Going to the bathroom independently on the toilet is an exciting skill to develop! Waiting until your child is emotionally and physically ready will put them on a successful path for potty training.

Toddler Development: Milestones from 31 to 36 Months

Social/Emotional Checklist(3)

After you leave your child (e.g. for a childcare drop off) they calm down within 10 minutes of your departure
Notices other children and plays with them

Language/Communication Checklist

Has conversations with you (you take turns speaking in at least two back-and-forth interactions)
Asks questions like, “why?” and “what?” and “where?”
Speaks well enough that others understand what they’re saying most of the time
Names what’s happening in a picture book when prompted (e.g. “Running!”)
When asked, says their name

Movement and Physical Development Checklist

Can use a fork
Dresses him or herself some of the time
Can string items together (e.g. beads)

Cognitive Checklist

Able to draw a circle when shown how
Doesn’t touch hot or dangerous objects when warned (e.g. a hot stove)

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 31- to 36-Month-Old

Encourage Free Play

Having the freedom to express creativity through play is very important for your child’s development. Allow your child to follow his or her interests on a regular basis when they’re playing.(3) Research shows that free play, whether with friends or alone, improves children’s social skills, teaches them to be more resilient, and reduces anxiety.(7) When engaging in free play, your child should be allowed to choose where they play (within reason), what they play with (as long as it’s safe), and what kinds of subjects they explore.(4) Because every child is unique, self-expression will come out in free play in varied ways.(4) Some children will choose to color. Others will play with Legos. The sky’s the limit with free play! Free play also encourages problem-solving skills in addition to boosting creativity.(4)

Teach Empathy

Give your child a chance to practice recognizing how other people feel. Show them pictures of children expressing a variety of emotions.(7) This will help them learn to identify fear, anger, sadness, frustration, joy, etc. in others. Teach your child about these emotions and give them the language to label them. Walk your child through what they can do if they see another child expressing those emotions. For example, if another child looks sad, you might ask, “Why do you think he feels sad? What could you do to help her feel better?” Teaching empathy takes time and lots of practice. But it is so worth it.

Name Their Feelings

Often children throw tantrums because they don’t feel heard, seen, understood, or listened to. If your child starts to cry because they can’t get their sweater on, resist the urge to say, “Stop crying.” Instead, name what they’re likely feeling. “You’re feeling frustrated because your arm won’t go into your sweater! Getting dressed can be hard sometimes. Would you like help?” By validating your child’s feelings, they’ll feel understood. You’re also giving them a valuable lesson in recognizing how they feel. Over time, they’ll be able to identify how they’re feeling and where those feelings arise in their body.

Continue to Set Clear Boundaries

Communicate limits to your child consistently so your expectations are clear. But do this in your normal voice! Being firm and clear does not mean having to yell. When possible, give clear and firm warnings, such as, “In five minutes it will be time to leave the park and go home for dinner.” If your toddler tests that limit, explain what the consequence will be and stick to it. “If you don’t get off the slide right now, you won’t be allowed to play with your musical book later.”

Every Stage Comes With Joys and Challenges

Each step of the way, you have the opportunity to help your child learn and grow. Subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful parenting tips, and don’t miss the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series!

References

https://edn.ne.gov/cms/developmental-milestones-31-through-36-months
https://www.verywellfamily.com/signs-your-toddler-is-ready-to-potty-train-290259
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-3yr.html
https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/what-is-free-play
https://www.thebump.com/toddler-month-by-month/36-month-old
https://www.theparentline.org/infant-toddler-development/31-36-months/
http://thedanishway.com/do-you-know-why-free-play-is-important-for-your-children/
Alexander, J. J., & Sandahl, I. (2016, August 9). The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids (1st ed.). TarcherPerigee.

Madeleine Vieira 8/16/22 Madeleine Vieira 8/16/22

Toddler Development: Your Stubborn and Capable 25 to 30 Month Old

Toddlers have a reputation for being stubborn, independent, defiant and frustrating—in addition to being to being painfully cute, of course. And for good reason! At this age, your child is going through tremendous cognitive growth. They’re realizing they’re an individual who can make an impact on their environment—and all that curiosity can lead to magical discoveries. (As well as a little mischief!)

Your 25-month-old will start to play pretend, stand on their tiptoes, blow you a kiss, and find new ways to surprise you each and every day!

Toddler reading a book to her stuffed bear in a field

Your 25-month-old will start to play pretend, stand on their tiptoes, blow you a kiss, and find new ways to surprise you each and every day!

Toddler Development: Your Toddler From 25 to 30 months

Vocabulary Development

Your 25-month-old can probably say simple phrases and two- to four-word sentences, and they may know as many as 100 words already!(1) Pay close attention to what you’re saying because at this age, your toddler is bound to repeat everything they hear.(1)

Your toddler can probably name up to five different objects like a ball or a car and name familiar pictures, (2) making reading time together even more fun. They can also follow short directions(2) like, “Give me the cup.”(3)

Continue to read to your toddler and have conversations with them throughout the day to encourage their vocabulary development.

Potty Training

Some children are ready to begin potty training around this age.(1) But you don’t want to rush it—potty training is a major milestone. Certain physical, developmental and behavioral milestones need to be reached before it’s possible for your toddler, and some children don’t learn until they’re closer to three.(6) If you try to potty train your child too early, it may end up taking even longer!(6)

Teething and Brushing

Your toddler’s two-year molars may be coming in sometime between 20 and 33 months.(1) They’re big ones—so this can be painful. Luckily, they’re the last teeth to come in until your child is around six years old.(1)

It can be hard to get a toddler to brush their teeth—but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying! It’s so important to establish good oral hygiene habits when your child is young.

Try some of these tips to make teeth brushing more fun for your toddler!(7)

Let your child pretend brush her favorite doll, stuffed animal, or action figure’s teeth while you brush her teeth.
Brush your toddler’s teeth and then let her take a turn brushing her own teeth (or vice versa).
Play a favorite song and let your child know when the song is over, it’s time to rinse.
Let your toddler pick out her own toothbrush

Toddler Development: Milestones From 25 to 30 Months

Social/Emotional Checklist(4)

Follows simple routines when instructed
Says “look!” to show you something he can do
Engages in parallel play

Language/Communication Checklist

Can say about 50 words(4)
Can say words like, “me,” “we,” and “I”(4)
Uses action words in short, two-word phrases like “Kitty jump”(4)
Can name known objects in a book when you point and ask what it is(4)
Begins to speak clearly(5)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(4)

Can twist or turn things with their hands
Jumps up off the ground with two feet
Removes some clothing by himself
Turns book pages
Can throw a ball(5)
Can build a six-block tower(5)

Cognitive Checklist(4)

Plays pretend like “feeding” a doll a block as though it was food
Follows simple instructions
Shows simple problem-solving abilities
Knows at least one color and can point to it when you ask

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 25- to 30-Month-Old

Allow Them to Make Small Choices

Support your toddler’s assertion of their independence by allowing them to make small choices throughout the day.(1) Let your toddler select their own outfits, for example—even if it takes them twice as long to get dressed. Letting your toddler work through the awkward stages of developing a skill is so important. Instead of stepping in to speed up the process, let them fumble—it’s good practice and helps them learn.(8)

Continue to Set Limits

While it’s important to support your toddler’s exploration of independence, it’s still important to set limits so they know you’re the boss. Your toddler may insist on jumping on the couch or doing other unsafe activities in their desire to explore. Continue to set consistent limits that keep them safe.(1)

Take a Time-In

It’s pretty normal for toddlers to bite or hit when they’re frustrated. (I talk about this at length on my upcoming episode this month on toddler behavior of Genius Little Minds if you want to learn more.) Try taking a “time-in” when your child is overwhelmed and having a meltdown. It’s an opportunity for you to co-regulate (as opposed to a time-out where a child sits alone.)(9) To take a time-in, sit with your child somewhere quiet if possible, and offer comfort and reassurance that you understand their big emotions. Give language to their feelings. Take some deep breaths together.

Example: “You’re frustrated because you aren’t allowed to have cake today. I get frustrated sometimes, too. Instead of screaming when we are frustrated, let’s try taking a deep breath and counting to 5.”(9)

Once they’ve calmed down, talk about what could have been done differently.

Example: “Did you scream at mommy because you wanted cake? What could you have done instead?”(10)

Transition Slowly

Transitions can be tough. Even for adults! So transitioning from playing at the park to going home can be especially hard for your toddler. Give plenty of verbal warnings like, “In twenty minutes it will be time to leave the park and go home to make dinner.” Repeat yourself a few times—giving these types of warnings in 10 minutes and again in 5 minutes.

Every Stage Comes with Joys and Challenges

References