Early Childhood: Your Creative and Playful 3 Year Old

Three-year-olds are such curious, playful, imaginative individuals!

Seeing your child grow right before your very eyes is wonderful and exciting. And watching them interact with you and others is such a gift.

Conversations have started to feel more interesting as your preschooler can say longer sentences and have more back-and-forth interaction with you. They also continue to come into their own, engaging in problem-solving and imaginative play.

Early Childhood Development: Your Young Preschooler at 3 Years Old

Vocabulary Development

Speech is yet another thing that children develop at their own pace. But a child between the ages of 3 and 4 will typically be able to say between 500 and 900 words!(2) By now, they’ll be able to talk in longer sentences of roughly 4 to 5 words, leading to real conversations with you.(4)

In preschool, your 3-year-old will be building reading and vocabulary skills. They’ll learn simple rhymes, poems, or songs and name colors and objects in their classroom.(3) They’ll also build fine motor skills as they create arts and craft projects and practice writing letters and their name.(3)

Your 3-year-old will also begin to understand the size differences between “little” and “big,” understand long sentences, and even know prepositions such as “on,” “under,” and behind!(2) Discuss what they did yesterday versus what they are doing today to encourage their grasp on the past tense.   

Growing Imagination

As your child’s imagination is growing and expanding, they’ll go on many wonderful adventures! They might sail the high seas in a cardboard box, or traverse a jungle across your kitchen. And while your preschooler’s growing imagination brings many wonderful moments of joy and play, it can also spark some fears.

Don’t be alarmed if your child also begins to display a fear of the dark or monsters under the bed as their imagination expands.(10) Because your child has likely seen television, movies, and been in the care of others by this age, their imagination will take flight sometimes. This can activate anxiety or fear. The best thing to do is acknowledge your child’s very real fear, but reassure them that the monsters are not real.

Early Childhood Development: 3-Year-Old Milestones

Social/Emotional Checklist(1)

• Quickly calms (within 10 minutes) after you leave (such as for preschool drop-off)

• Is interested in playing with other children

• With support, can problem solve

• Displays affection and concern for others without being prompted(7)

• Copies others (e.g., runs when friends or other children run)(7)

• Displays a wide range of feelings(7)

• Enjoys routines (and may get upset with a major change in routine)(7)

Language/Communication Checklist(1)

• Asks questions such as, “who,” “what,” “where,” “why,” and “how”

• Can name the action they see in a picture when asked (such as “sleeping”)

• Can say their first name when asked

• Is able to have short conversations with you (at least two back-and-forth exchanges)

• Speaks well enough that other people understand them (most of the time)

• After you read a book to them, they can retell the story(4)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(2)

• Can run, jump, and walk up stairs without help

• Can ride a tricycle

• Is able to wash and dry their hands

• Is able to use a fork and spoon well(1)

• Can dress himself or herself(1)

• Can string items together (like macaroni)(1)

• Able to hold a pencil, marker or crayon to color and draw(4)

Cognitive Checklist(1)

• Can draw a circle when shown how

• Doesn’t touch a hot stove when warned not to

• Uses imagination to play and create stories(7)

• May be afraid of monsters under the bed or the dark(9)
  
  

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 3-Year-Old

Encourage Problem Solving

Offer support, but don’t solve every problem for your child. Instead, encourage problem-solving and a can-do attitude. Ask questions to help your 3-year-old not only comprehend the problem or situation they’re facing, but also to help them think of solutions to try.(1)

For example, if you have a little extra time on a grocery run with your child, use the opportunity to engage in problem solving.(5) Try saying something like, “To bake cookies we need to buy butter, sugar, and flour. We have butter and flour in the cart. What are we missing?”

Model Problem Solving

You have the opportunity to be a wonderful role model for your child. Show them how you problem solve to encourage them to do it in their own lives as they grow up.

For example, perhaps you accidentally knock over a glass of milk, and it spills onto the floor. Do your best to remain calm. Take a deep breath. If your child is nearby, you could say something like, “Oops! I spilled some milk. How should I clean it up?”(5)

Don’t expect yourself to be perfect. Accidents happen. Some teachable moments will be missed opportunities. But try to give yourself the space (at least some of the time) to make and acknowledge your mistakes out loud to model problem solving in action.(5)

Ask Your Child Open-Ended Questions

Asking open-ended questions is a wonderful way to stimulate your child’s creativity, stretch their reasoning abilities, and foster independence and curiosity.(6) Questions that have a one word answer, such as, “What animal is that?” certainly have their place in your child’s development. But make space for more open-ended questions too, like, “Can you tell me about your stuffed animal?”(6)

Open-ended questions may be met with a pause as your child mulls things over. Be patient and give them time to respond. You might just be delighted by what they tell you!

Here are some other examples of open-ended questions you can ask:(6)

• Can you tell me about what you saw?

• What did you see happening at the park/zoo/grocery store/mall?

• Do you have any other ideas?

• Can you help me think of a new way to do this?

• What happened at the beginning of the story? What about the middle or end?

Create Space for Imaginative Play

Imaginative play is such a beautiful part of childhood. When your preschooler is playing pretend, creating stories about made up characters, turning everyday objects into parts of their magical world, or imagining themselves as an astronaut or a wizard, anything feels possible. And the freedom that comes with imaginative play allows them to explore emotions, develop empathy, learn negotiation and problem-solving skills, and develop their language and abstract thinking capabilities.(8)

If space allows, offer a place for a small stash of props or safe objects your child can play with such as empty boxes, clothes, stuffed animals, household utensils or plastic tools, markers, construction paper and tape. Then step back and watch your child’s imagination come to life.

Every Stage Comes With Joys and Challenges

Each step of the way, you have the opportunity to help your child learn and grow. Subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful parenting tips, and don’t miss the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series!

References

1. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-3yr.html

2. https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=the-growing-child-3-year-olds-90-P02296

3. https://www.scholastic.com/parents/school-success/school-success-guides/guide-to-preschool.html

4. https://www.verywellfamily.com/3-year-old-developmental-milestones-2764712

5. https://www.rasmussen.edu/degrees/education/blog/problem-solving-for-preschoolers/

6. https://www.decal.ga.gov/documents/attachments/Questions_Children_Think.pdf

7. https://helpmegrowmn.org/HMG/DevelopMilestone/3Years/index.html

8. https://www.babycenter.com/child/3-years-old/your-3-3-4-year-old-pretend-play_10329670

9. https://www.healthywa.wa.gov.au/Articles/A_E/Child-development-3-4-years

10. https://www.firstfiveyears.org.au/child-development/when-your-child-has-a-fear-of-the-dark

How Long Does Potty Training Take? Let’s Dive in to the 3 Day Method

Potty training is a major milestone and a huge sign of growth and development!

Using the toilet is a learned skill. It takes physiological, cognitive, verbal and social readiness to be able to do it.(2) For something we all do every day, probably without really thinking about it, it takes an amazing amount of work for small children! And teaching a child to use the toilet really is a skill worth celebrating.

You know that your child already knows how to pee and poop. But in order for them to be potty trained, they need to be able to recognize the physical sensation of having to go to the bathroom. They also need to be able to tell you so that with help, they can make it to the toilet.(2)

Using a toilet and bathroom hygiene are important skills to learn! When you potty train, you help your child develop their independence and increase their confidence. You also teach them related hygiene skills like flushing and washing their hands.(4)

Poop and pee may not be your favorite topic of polite discussion. But explaining bodily functions in plain terms to your toddler sure does help with potty training!

At What Age Do You Start Potty Training?

Infants can’t use the muscles needed to control their bladder and rectum, which is why we don’t try to potty train them!(3) This capability doesn’t arise until a child is about 18 months old.(3) But age doesn’t necessarily indicate readiness.

Between the ages of 20 and 30 months is usually what parents find works best, although every child is different.(1) Prior to 20 months your child is still working on other skills, such as eating, walking, and overcoming separation anxiety. So adding potty training into the mix might just be too much.(1)

But if your child happens to initiate the process or display an interest in using the toilet, follow their lead. Don’t ignore their questions about the potty or tell them they’re too young for it.(1) Allow them to be curious and take the opportunity to teach them about toilet habits.

The longer your toddler wears diapers and the older they get, the harder it is to manage their behavior. This is why many parents find it’s best to potty train their child before they turn 3.(1) Around age 3 is when children start to individuate.(1) They realize they have free will, the ability to make choices, and also display more of their personality. And once that happens, potty training can become a bit more of a battle.(1)

Signs Your Child is Ready for Potty Training

Potty training is a process and determining readiness is not always easy.

But your toddler might be ready to start potty training if they(2):

• Tell you when they have to go to the bathroom

• Let you know when they’ve peed or pooped in their diaper

• Hide when they’re about to have a bowel movement (behind the couch, or they go in another room to poop in their diaper)

• Can pull down their diaper without help

Some children don’t give a lot of indications, though, so just remember that every child is unique! Your child may hate diaper changes or ask to use the potty every once in a while, even if she’s not ready for full-blown potty training yet.

How to Potty Train in 3 Days

Also known as the Bare Bottom Method, this method is highly popular and praised by parents from all over the world.

To use this method, you’ll need three consecutive days to be at home potty training your child. This, of course, can be a challenge for working parents and caregivers.(4) For parents who work Monday through Friday, I suggest you try to tackle potty training on a three or four day weekend so you can be at home with your toddler. (4) You’re going to be spending all weekend indoors, basically glued to your toddler’s hip as you walk them to and from the potty! So plan ahead as best as you can.

Here are some tips to plan ahead before you start the process:

• Do the food shopping ahead of time. Stock up on juice boxes as you’re going to encourage your child to drink more than usual.

• Do the laundry and any house cleaning or errands ahead of time.

• If there are older siblings in the house who won’t be involved in the potty training process, try to set up play dates or care for them. That way you can give your full undivided attention to potty training your toddler.

• Let your child pick out “big kid underwear” at the store because it’s time to say “bye bye” to diapers.

Day 1

Let your child spend the day bare-bottomed.(4) The idea is that it’s easier for them to sense when they have to go or are going to the bathroom when they have no clothes on. Explain to your toddler that there’s no diaper to catch the pee or poop anymore, so they have to put it in the potty instead.(5)

Closely watch your child for signs that they may have to use the bathroom. When you notice that they need to go, take your child immediately to use the toilet.(4) Even boys will learn to sit on the toilet at first because they simply don’t have the aim to pee standing up yet. Save that for another day!

Remain emotionally neutral when making comments about your child’s potty training progress. If they have an accident, remain calm. Try saying, “You peed on the floor. Let’s clean it up together.”(4)

When they do go in the toilet, congratulate them. Try saying, “You just peed in the toilet. That’s where pee and poop belongs!”(4) Teach them how to flush. Remember to have them wash their hands afterward!

Some children feel uncomfortable with lavish praise or over-the-top parental excitement. Others respond well to that. Your toddler may respond well to rewards like stickers, lollipops, or little trinkets for using the potty. But maybe they won’t! As with anything, every child is different. You know your child best!

Set a timer every 20 minutes to do a check-in with your child on whether or not they have to use the potty. (4) After they drink a juice box, for example, remind them it’s time to try to go pee. They may refuse, but ask them to try anyway. (5)

Nap Time

Whether you want to put your toddler in diapers or pull-ups when they sleep during the three-day potty training is up to you. Some parents choose to potty train for everything all at once – daytime, naps, nighttime – they just find it’s easier that way. Other parents and caregivers decide to potty train in stages.

Days 2 & 3

You’ll basically follow the same process that you did on day one. Let your child be bare-bottomed all day. There’s still going to be a lot of back and forth to the bathroom, roughly every 20 minutes, to practice using the potty.

After potty training, it’s a good idea to dress your child in clothing that’s easy to remove. Try pants that are easy to pull down, have an elastic waist, and aren’t fussy. Avoid clothing that requires more work like tights or shirts with snaps at the crotch.

Interested in Learning More?

Check out this podcast episode for more information on potty training. We also talk about what to do if you can’t take off work to potty train your child and how to handle accidents that happen long after potty training is over.

Equip yourself with knowledge and tools to help your child thrive. And be sure to subscribe to the Genius Little Mindspodcast so you never miss an episode!

References

1. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-oh-crap-potty-training-podcast/id1627503268

2. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/toilet-training/Pages/default.aspx

3. https://www.seattlechildrens.org/health-safety/keeping-kids-healthy/development/toliet-potty-training/

4. https://www.verywellfamily.com/three-day-potty-training-tips-4071189

5. https://www.parenting.com/toddler/potty-training/how-3-day-potty-training-method-works/

Toddler Development: Your Chatty and Curious 31 to 36 Month-Old

How fast children grow! Your child is already almost three years old. You may be wondering where the time goes.

At this stage, you probably can’t get your toddler to stop asking questions and asserting his independence! And with good reason. There are many things your toddler can do by himself at this age and the wide world fascinates him.

Watch in amazement as your toddler tackles so many tasks all on his own! He can ride a tricycle, put on his shoes, brush his teeth and say his name.

You’ve done such a great job helping him grow. And the learning will only continue. The world delights and surprises him at every turn.

Let’s see what else you can expect from your 31- to 36-month-old and how you can encourage his healthy development.  

Toddler Development: Your Toddler from 31 to 36 Months

Vocabulary Development

Your 36-month-old can already say 900 to 1000 words!(1) This probably doesn’t come as too much of a shock—I bet you can’t get your three-year-old to stop talking! You’ve done such a great job facilitating your toddler’s vocabulary development by reading, singing, and talking to them. Give yourself a pat on the back and keep engaging with them as they grow.

At this age, your toddler wants to know how everything works. You’ve probably noticed your toddler asks a ton of questions. Some of them you may not know how to answer! Don’t be afraid to encourage their exploration further. Head to the library to pick up a children’s book on the topic of their choice. Read it together and talk about what you learned.

Potty Training

If your child wasn’t previously ready to use the potty, don’t worry. 18 to 36 months is a big age range to start toilet training. Many children don’t start potty training until they’re on the older end of the spectrum.(2) The “right time” varies widely from child to child. Using the toilet is a skill your child has to learn, just like having to learn to walk, talk, and use a spoon or a cup!(2)

You can tell your child is ready for potty training if they:(2) 

• Begin to show an interest (e.g. they want to be dry and clean, they want to wear “big kid” underwear, they wonder what happens when you go to the bathroom)

• Stay dry for two hours or longer when they’re awake

• Wake up with a dry diaper

• Are aware when they need to go (e.g. they pee/poop in private or point to their diaper as they’re going)

• Show independence by saying they can do it themselves (e.g. feeding, dressing)

• Can follow directions and communicate well with you

• Are able to sit still

• Can run and walk well

• Can undress themselves

It can be challenging to know when your toddler is ready to start potty training. But if you keep an eye out for the signs outlined above, you’ll be well on your way. Going to the bathroom independently on the toilet is an exciting skill to develop! Waiting until your child is emotionally and physically ready will put them on a successful path for potty training. 

Toddler Development: Milestones from 31 to 36 Months

Social/Emotional Checklist(3)

• After you leave your child (e.g. for a childcare drop off) they calm down within 10 minutes of your departure

• Notices other children and plays with them

Language/Communication Checklist

• Has conversations with you (you take turns speaking in at least two back-and-forth interactions)

• Asks questions like, “why?” and “what?” and “where?”

• Speaks well enough that others understand what they’re saying most of the time

• Names what’s happening in a picture book when prompted (e.g. “Running!”)

• When asked, says their name

Movement and Physical Development Checklist

• Can use a fork

• Dresses him or herself some of the time

• Can string items together (e.g. beads)

Cognitive Checklist

• Able to draw a circle when shown how

• Doesn’t touch hot or dangerous objects when warned (e.g. a hot stove)

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 31- to 36-Month-Old

Encourage Free Play

Having the freedom to express creativity through play is very important for your child’s development. Allow your child to follow his or her interests on a regular basis when they’re playing.(3) Research shows that free play, whether with friends or alone, improves children’s social skills, teaches them to be more resilient, and reduces anxiety.(7) When engaging in free play, your child should be allowed to choose where they play (within reason), what they play with (as long as it’s safe), and what kinds of subjects they explore.(4) Because every child is unique, self-expression will come out in free play in varied ways.(4) Some children will choose to color. Others will play with Legos. The sky’s the limit with free play! Free play also encourages problem-solving skills in addition to boosting creativity.(4)  

Teach Empathy

Give your child a chance to practice recognizing how other people feel. Show them pictures of children expressing a variety of emotions.(7) This will help them learn to identify fear, anger, sadness, frustration, joy, etc. in others. Teach your child about these emotions and give them the language to label them. Walk your child through what they can do if they see another child expressing those emotions. For example, if another child looks sad, you might ask, “Why do you think he feels sad? What could you do to help her feel better?” Teaching empathy takes time and lots of practice. But it is so worth it.

Name Their Feelings

Often children throw tantrums because they don’t feel heard, seen, understood, or listened to. If your child starts to cry because they can’t get their sweater on, resist the urge to say, “Stop crying.” Instead, name what they’re likely feeling. “You’re feeling frustrated because your arm won’t go into your sweater! Getting dressed can be hard sometimes. Would you like help?” By validating your child’s feelings, they’ll feel understood. You’re also giving them a valuable lesson in recognizing how they feel. Over time, they’ll be able to identify how they’re feeling and where those feelings arise in their body.

Continue to Set Clear Boundaries

Communicate limits to your child consistently so your expectations are clear. But do this in your normal voice! Being firm and clear does not mean having to yell. When possible, give clear and firm warnings, such as, “In five minutes it will be time to leave the park and go home for dinner.” If your toddler tests that limit, explain what the consequence will be and stick to it. “If you don’t get off the slide right now, you won’t be allowed to play with your musical book later.”

 

 

Every Stage Comes With Joys and Challenges

Each step of the way, you have the opportunity to help your child learn and grow. Subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful parenting tips, and don’t miss the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series!

References

1. https://edn.ne.gov/cms/developmental-milestones-31-through-36-months

2. https://www.verywellfamily.com/signs-your-toddler-is-ready-to-potty-train-290259

3. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-3yr.html

4. https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/what-is-free-play

5. https://www.thebump.com/toddler-month-by-month/36-month-old

6. https://www.theparentline.org/infant-toddler-development/31-36-months/

7. http://thedanishway.com/do-you-know-why-free-play-is-important-for-your-children/

8. Alexander, J. J., & Sandahl, I. (2016, August 9). The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids (1st ed.). TarcherPerigee.

Toddler Development: Your Stubborn and Capable 25 to 30 Month Old

Toddlers have a reputation for being stubborn, independent, defiant and frustrating—in addition to being to being painfully cute, of course. And for good reason! At this age, your child is going through tremendous cognitive growth. They’re realizing they’re an individual who can make an impact on their environment—and all that curiosity can lead to magical discoveries. (As well as a little mischief!)

Your 25-month-old will start to play pretend, stand on their tiptoes, blow you a kiss, and find new ways to surprise you each and every day!

Toddler Development: Your Toddler From 25 to 30 months

Vocabulary Development

Your 25-month-old can probably say simple phrases and two- to four-word sentences, and they may know as many as 100 words already!(1) Pay close attention to what you’re saying because at this age, your toddler is bound to repeat everything they hear.(1)

Your toddler can probably name up to five different objects like a ball or a car and name familiar pictures, (2) making reading time together even more fun. They can also follow short directions(2) like, “Give me the cup.”(3)

Continue to read to your toddler and have conversations with them throughout the day to encourage their vocabulary development.

Potty Training

Some children are ready to begin potty training around this age.(1) But you don’t want to rush it—potty training is a major milestone. Certain physical, developmental and behavioral milestones need to be reached before it’s possible for your toddler, and some children don’t learn until they’re closer to three.(6) If you try to potty train your child too early, it may end up taking even longer!(6)

Teething and Brushing

Your toddler’s two-year molars may be coming in sometime between 20 and 33 months.(1) They’re big ones—so this can be painful. Luckily, they’re the last teeth to come in until your child is around six years old.(1)

It can be hard to get a toddler to brush their teeth—but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying! It’s so important to establish good oral hygiene habits when your child is young.

Try some of these tips to make teeth brushing more fun for your toddler!(7)

• Let your child pretend brush her favorite doll, stuffed animal, or action figure’s teeth while you brush her teeth.

• Brush your toddler’s teeth and then let her take a turn brushing her own teeth (or vice versa).

• Play a favorite song and let your child know when the song is over, it’s time to rinse.

• Let your toddler pick out her own toothbrush

 

Toddler Development: Milestones From 25 to 30 Months

Social/Emotional Checklist(4)

• Follows simple routines when instructed

• Says “look!” to show you something he can do

• Engages in parallel play

 

Language/Communication Checklist

• Can say about 50 words(4)

• Can say words like, “me,” “we,” and “I”(4)

• Uses action words in short, two-word phrases like “Kitty jump”(4)

• Can name known objects in a book when you point and ask what it is(4)

• Begins to speak clearly(5)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(4)

• Can twist or turn things with their hands

• Jumps up off the ground with two feet

• Removes some clothing by himself

• Turns book pages

• Can throw a ball(5)

• Can build a six-block tower(5)

Cognitive Checklist(4)

• Plays pretend like “feeding” a doll a block as though it was food

• Follows simple instructions

• Shows simple problem-solving abilities

• Knows at least one color and can point to it when you ask

 

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 25- to 30-Month-Old

Allow Them to Make Small Choices

Support your toddler’s assertion of their independence by allowing them to make small choices throughout the day.(1) Let your toddler select their own outfits, for example—even if it takes them twice as long to get dressed. Letting your toddler work through the awkward stages of developing a skill is so important. Instead of stepping in to speed up the process, let them fumble—it’s good practice and helps them learn.(8)

 

Continue to Set Limits

While it’s important to support your toddler’s exploration of independence, it’s still important to set limits so they know you’re the boss. Your toddler may insist on jumping on the couch or doing other unsafe activities in their desire to explore. Continue to set consistent limits that keep them safe.(1)

 

Take a Time-In

It’s pretty normal for toddlers to bite or hit when they’re frustrated. (I talk about this at length on my upcoming episode this month on toddler behavior of Genius Little Minds if you want to learn more.) Try taking a “time-in” when your child is overwhelmed and having a meltdown. It’s an opportunity for you to co-regulate (as opposed to a time-out where a child sits alone.)(9) To take a time-in, sit with your child somewhere quiet if possible, and offer comfort and reassurance that you understand their big emotions. Give language to their feelings. Take some deep breaths together.

Example: “You’re frustrated because you aren’t allowed to have cake today. I get frustrated sometimes, too. Instead of screaming when we are frustrated, let’s try taking a deep breath and counting to 5.”(9)

Once they’ve calmed down, talk about what could have been done differently.

Example: “Did you scream at mommy because you wanted cake? What could you have done instead?”(10)

 

Transition Slowly

Transitions can be tough. Even for adults! So transitioning from playing at the park to going home can be especially hard for your toddler. Give plenty of verbal warnings like, “In twenty minutes it will be time to leave the park and go home to make dinner.” Repeat yourself a few times—giving these types of warnings in 10 minutes and again in 5 minutes.

 

Every Stage Comes with Joys and Challenges

Each step of the way, you have the opportunity to help your child learn and grow. Subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful parenting tips, and don’t miss the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series!

References

1. https://www.thebump.com/toddler-month-by-month/25-month-old

2. https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/play_through_the_ages_ages_24_to_30_months

3. https://childdevelopment.com.au/areas-of-concern/understanding-language/following-instructions/

4. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-30mo.html

5. https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6471/milestone-chart-25-to-30-months

6. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/potty-training/art-20045230

7. https://hurstpediatricdentistry.com/2020/09/10/tips-for-brushing-baby-toddler-teeth/

8. https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/30-month-milestones

9. https://reachformontessori.com/time-in-vs-time-out-what-is-a-time-in/

10. https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/behaviour-management-tips-tools/time-in-helping-toddlers-calm-down

Toddler Development: Independence, Exploration, and Tantrums, Oh My! Your Energetic 19 to 24 Month Old

Your baby is more than a year and a half old now, and boy does she have a lot to say! As your toddler’s vocabulary continues to grow, so does her confidence. You may find her testing limits, exerting her independence, and strutting her stuff everywhere she goes!

Between 19 and 24 months, you’ll notice your child is going through so many amazing changes. The chubby baby you know and love is growing up so fast! She’s gaining muscle, a more defined jawline, and getting both taller and leaner.

As she’s mastering skills like walking, running and climbing stairs, her personality is also developing. Soon it will become more obvious if you have a daredevil or more careful child on your hands. One thing’s for sure–your toddler will keep you on your toes as she engages in pretend play, feels big emotions, and continues exploring the wide world.

Toddler Development: Your Toddler From 19 to 24 months

Exciting New Movements

Toddlers have so much energy–and by now you’re probably used to chasing after them! As your toddler gets more confident walking, he’ll use his hands less and less for balance and even break into a run at times!(1) When running, it can be hard for your toddler to stop or make turns, so he might take a tumble to the ground once in a while.(3) He may also discover he can stand on tiptoe to look for things out of reach.(4) Overtime, he’ll learn to kick a ball and throw one underarm.(11) Every tactile discovery feels exciting and new as he grows into his body each day!

Expanding Vocabulary

By 21 months, your toddler will be able to use around 50 words!(4) And by 24 months, they’ll be able to use two word phrases and simple pronouns like “me, my, you.”(4) They’ll start to pick up new words all the time, often echoing the words you say.(3) You may be singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” to teach your toddler anatomy. By 21 months they’ll be able to identify 3-5 body parts when asked.(4) Reading with your toddler may also become more fun as they more readily identify objects in their picture books.(4) But you also may find they want you to read the same story to them… over and over and over!(5) They know what they like and want to have it… all the time!

Tantrums are Normal

Your toddler is learning to regulate their emotions and communicate their needs and desires.(6) But it takes time to master these skills. When a young child is frustrated with herself and her limitations or is angry she can’t get her way, a tantrum is likely to ensue.(7) While they can be embarrassing for parents, tantrums are a normal part of toddler development. 

Toddler Development: Milestones From 19 to 24 months

While every child develops at their own pace, here are some things your child will likely do by the time they’re 24 months old:

Social/Emotional Checklist (2)

• Can tell when someone is upset or hurt. For example, pauses or looks sad when they see someone crying

• Turns to you to see how to respond in an unfamiliar situation

• Says “no”(3)

• Has trouble waiting for things and wants them right now(3)

• Engages mainly in parallel play, but begins showing an interest in including other children and playing together(8)

Language/Communication Checklist(2)

• Strings at least two words together to form a short sentence, like, “more please”

• Able to point to known objects or things when asked

• Uses gestures beyond just pointing or waving

• Can identify at least two body parts when asked

• Follows simple directions(8)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(2)

• Can kick a ball

• Walks upstairs with or without help

• Runs (but stopping or turning can be difficult)(3)

• Can take a few steps backward(3)

• Uses a spoon to eat

• Opens cabinets, boxes, and drawers(3)

• Can stack 2 to 4 blocks(3)

Cognitive Checklist(2)

• Able to play with multiple toys at a time, like serving tea to a teddy bear

• Uses switches, buttons, and knobs on toys

• Can hold something in one hand while using the other (like when holding a cup and removing the lid)

• Says “please” and “thank you” when prompted(3)

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 19 to 24 Month Old

Encourage Pretend Play

Pretend play will emerge at this age, and it’s so fun to witness! Your toddler may pretend to cook a meal or sail the high seas in a cardboard ship. Make space for your child to play both near you—they gain the confidence to explore and try new things, knowing you’re close by—and with other children.(9) Sharing and taking turns will still be hard at this age—so don’t think you’re raising a selfish child!(9) Toddlers just tend to think everything is theirs and are reluctant to share.

Have Conversations and Respond in Full Sentences

Now that your toddler knows a handful of words, you can encourage conversation by listening and replying when they speak to you.(9) If your child says, “Mama, ball” you could reply by saying, “Would you like to play with your red ball?” By doing this, you’re exposing your child to more words, helping expand her vocabulary and giving context to her requests.

Encourage Problem Solving

Give your toddler space to learn and problem solve. Model curiosity and questioning when something doesn’t work out. For example, if your toddler is trying to put shapes in their corresponding holes and it’s not working out, you can ask, “Does the triangle have round edges?”(1)

Make Time for Skill Building

It can feel hard to let your toddler do things on their own when you know it would be faster if you did it for them. But stepping in can rob your child of the opportunity to learn and grow! Try to build time into your day to allow for your toddler to build everyday skills and develop their independence. Let them take off their own shoes or use a spoon to feed themselves. It may take longer, but you’re giving them the opportunity to engage their brain (as well as their large and small muscle groups).(9)

Model Emotional Regulation

Sometimes, your toddler will try to do something and they’ll fail. And tears will likely ensue. They’ll want to drive their toy truck under the bridge (coffee table) but the bridge is too low. And they’ll have a meltdown over it. Empathize with your toddler and their big feelings. Validate their frustration, be patient, and explain what they’re experiencing. You could say, “You’re feeling frustrated because the truck doesn’t fit under the table.” And give them an opportunity to choose again. “Would you like to drive the small car under the table instead?”

Every Stage Comes with Joys and Challenges

Each step of the way, you have the opportunity to help your child learn and grow. Subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful parenting tips, and don’t miss the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series!

References

1. https://www.pampers.com/en-us/toddler/development/article/20-month-old

2. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-2yr.html

3. https://edn.ne.gov/cms/developmental-milestones-19-through-24-months

4. https://pathways.org/growth-development/19-24-months/milestones/

5. http://www.theparentline.org/infant-toddler-development/19-21-months/

6. https://www.thebump.com/toddler-month-by-month/19-month-old

7. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/tantrum/art-20047845

8. https://www.whattoexpect.com/milestones/19-24-months/

9. https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/development/development-tracker-1-3-years/18-24-months

10. https://www.parentingforbrain.com/self-regulation-toddler-temper-tantrums/

11. https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6472/milestone-chart-19-to-24-months

Toddler Development: They're Getting into Everything! Your Curious 16 to 18 Month Old

Toddler Development: Your Toddler From 16 to 18 Months

Your little one sure is keeping you on your toes with all the walking, talking, climbing and playing at this age. And you may feel like you have a shadow everywhere you turn because your toddler can’t get enough of you and the exciting world around them!

Now that they’re mobile and on the go, their personality will start to shine. You may notice you have a chatty child or a quiet observer. Whatever you do or say, you’ll likely have a mini who wants to copy everything you do!

Developing Language Skills

By this time, most toddlers are saying at least three words, and some may even know up to fifteen.(1) Their language skills may still sound like gibberish—but you’ll learn to identify what they’re trying to say over time. And you’ll notice they’ll start to string two words together based on associations to form short sentences. If you go to a park, for example, you might hear your toddler say, “Play ball!” to express what they want to do.(1)

Constantly in Motion

You’ve probably noticed your toddler is always in motion! Now that he can walk without holding onto anyone or anything, the world is his oyster! Running, dancing, walking backwards, and climbing are ways your child may assert his independence and expend his energy.(2) If your child likes to climb on things, double-check your home’s childproofing systems to keep your active toddler safe.(2)

Discovering Independence

As your toddler develops language skills, you may find you have a bossy child on your hands! Hearing them say “no!” is common at this age as they are learning to assert their independence and preferences. (1) It may feel tiresome, and you may start to wonder if you have a tiny teenager on your hands! But small acts of defiance or rebellion are normal in toddlerhood.

Toddler Development: Milestones From 16 to 18 Months

While every child develops differently, there are a few milestones to look out for at this age.

Here are some things your child will likely do by the time they’re 18 months old:

Social/Emotional Checklist(3)

• Points at something interesting to show it to you

• Extends their hands for you to wash them

• Asserts independence but makes sure you’re still nearby

• Looks at short books with you, shows an interest in pictures(4)

• LIfts up a foot or puts an arm through a sleeve to get dressed

Language/Communication Checklist(3)

• Can say 3 or more words aside from “mama” or “dada”

• Understands up to 50 words(4)

• Points to familiar people or objects in pictures(4)

• Can follow simple, one-step directions (even if they’re not accompanied by a gesture)

• Repeats words they overhear in conversation(4)

• Shakes head yes/no in response to simple questions(4)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(3)

• Scribbles with markers, pens, pencils, etc.

• Uses fingers to feed herself

• Uses a cup without a lid (spilling sometimes to be expected)

• Attempts to use a spoon

• Walks unassisted (and seldom falls)(4)

• Climbs on things without help (like a couch or chair)

• Can squat to pick up a toy(4)

Cognitive Checklist(3)

• Can play with simple toys (like pushing a toy truck)

• Will copy your actions (like sweeping with a toy broom as you clean)

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 16 to 18 Month Old


Encourage Play with Other Children

If you’re worried you’re raising a self-centered child who can’t share, don’t fret—thinking the world revolves around him is a normal part of your toddler’s development. It’s okay that he doesn’t quite understand the concept of empathy yet or know that people have feelings or thoughts that differ from his own. Let your toddler engage in parallel play, or the type of play that happens side by side with other children. Over time, he’ll acquire the skills to play well with other children his age. Offer toy options during playdates. Consider hiding favorite toys to minimize possessiveness that may inspire hitting or biting.(5)

Model Sharing (But Understand When They Don’t Want To)

Sharing probably won’t come naturally to your 18-month-old, and that’s okay. Try to model good behavior and demonstrate what sharing looks like. The concept of sharing will become easier as your child develops, but don’t rush it. Accept that parallel play is more developmentally appropriate for this age.(8) Your child probably won’t fully understand what sharing means until they’re 3 or 4 years old.(10)

Set and Enforce Boundaries (But Avoid Saying ‘No!”)

It’s natural for your toddler to want to get into everything. At this age, they’re curious about the wide world around them! But your number one priority is keeping your child safe. So even though he may object, boundaries are necessary in accomplishing that. You can narrate boundaries as you’re enforcing them. Try saying things like, “You want to be barefoot, but you need to wear sneakers at the playground.” Or, “You want to have dessert now, but your body needs a healthy dinner first.”(6) Reserve a strong “no!” for when your child is in danger or hurting others—hitting or biting another child, for example.(7) This will make it more likely that they listen to you than if you say “no” frequently.(7)

Continue to Narrate Your Day

You’re probably already used to narrating your day as a way to develop your child’s vocabulary. Keep it up! Your toddler understands a surprising amount of what you say. And the more language you expose him to, the more new words he learns! Research shows that children who are spoken to more often process and understand words at a faster rate than children who are spoken to less.(7) If you regularly point out dogs when you’re on a walk with your toddler, for example, it will be easier for him to learn the word “leash” when you say, “Look at the dog on the leash.” This is because some of the words are already familiar to him.(7)

Sing Together

Did you know rhyming songs like “Humpty Dumpty” actually have a purpose? Singing rhymes together or reciting simple poems can help your toddler understand that certain sounds, words, or letters go together. (5) What great preparation for learning to read! And if your child mispronounces a word, repeat the word with the correct pronunciation so they can hear it—and try pronouncing it—again.(7)

Do a Safety Check

18-month-olds are frequently on the move and curious about everything. Avoid toys with small parts or magnets as those pose serious hazards to children. Keep baby gates up. Teach your child how to safely get down the stairs when accompanied. Be cognizant that your child may be learning how to open doors or baby gates. If you have a pool, make sure your toddler can’t get to it to avoid a tragedy. Consider signing up your toddler for swimming lessons, too.(9) While not a substitute for adult supervision, it’s a great way to introduce water safety skills. It also encourages parents and children to have fun in the water together.(9)

Embrace Every Stage

Support your child through all stages of development! To read more blogs like this with helpful parenting tips, subscribe to my newsletter!

You can also check out the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series for more information on how to help your child grow and learn at different stages.

References

1. https://www.scarymommy.com/your-16-18-month-old-toddler

2. https://www.thebump.com/toddler-month-by-month/16-month-old

3. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-18mo.html

4. https://pathways.org/growth-development/13-18-months/milestones/

5. https://www.pampers.com/en-us/toddler/development/article/16-month-old

6. https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/child-development/way-children/

7. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/18/parenting/milestones/your-18-month-old.html

8. http://www.theparentline.org/infant-toddler-development/16-18-months/

9. https://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/16-month-old.aspx

10. https://www.greatkidsinc.org/sharing-is-caringand-a-developmental-milestone/

Toddler Development: The Amazing Things Your 13 to 15 Month Old Can Do!

Toddler Development: Your Toddler From 13 to 15 Months

 
You made it through your baby’s first year! Way to go. Give yourself a pat on the back and kick up your feet.  

Don’t take a rest for too long, though — you have a toddler now, and they’ll surely keep you on your toes!

You’re probably eagerly awaiting the day when your child takes their first unsupported steps — so grab the camera because between 13 and 15 months, that milestone will likely be reached, as well as many others.

Walking

All children develop at their own pace, but with toddlerhood comes the exciting milestone of learning to walk! Many children take their first independent steps around 14 months.(1) Before a baby can walk, they need the coordination and muscle strength to pull themselves up to a standing position and then stay standing, either by holding onto furniture or a caregiver.(2) Babies will pull themselves up to stand about 2 to 4 months before they take their first unsupported steps.(2)

When learning to walk, your toddler might fall down a lot! And that’s okay. Perfecting their strut doesn’t happen all at once, so prepare for your baby to fall down or start and stop frequently as they’re learning.(3)

Talking

By this age, your toddler may be able to say two to four words.(6) And you may start hearing them over and over again! (Though it might be “ba” for ball, not the full word yet!) Your toddler will also make lots of babbling sounds and respond to their name. As she learns more and more words, your toddler will learn what it means when you say things like, “Where is your truck?” And then she’ll go look for it. Songs and rhymes will also continue to delight your toddler. And even though she may not know the word for something, if she wants it, she’ll point to it to ask for it.(6)

Personality Grows as Your Toddler Discovers Her Independence

With toddlerhood comes an emerging personality! So your toddler will likely be pretty vocal about their likes and dislikes — and you can expect some tantrums to emerge at this age. Toddlers experience frustration because they aren’t able to adequately communicate how they feel or what they want from adults.(8) You can imagine how frustrating that must be! So try to exercise patience and be compassionate toward your toddler.

Some more fun parts of your toddler’s personality will start to emerge as well, like a sense of humor. Your child may start to find lots of things really funny! So enjoy the ups and downs of the journey and find the humor where you can, too.

As your little angel grows, so will her independence and sense of self.(9) You may even find your toddler tries to help you dress her by holding out an arm or leg as you do so.(9)

Toddler Development: Milestones From 13 to 15 Months

While every child develops differently, there are a few milestones to look out for at this age.

Here are some things your child will likely do when they’re between 13 to 15 months old:

Social/Emotional Checklist(7):

• Shows affection to parent or caregiver (hugs, kisses, cuddles)

• Hugs stuffed animals or dolls

• Claps hands together when excited

• Shows you something they like, such as a toy or object

• Copies other children during play

Language/Communication Checklist(7):

• Attempts to say words besides “mama” or “dada”

• Points to things as a way to ask for them or receive help

• Follows directions when they are given with a gesture and words

• Looks at/for a familiar object when you say its name

• Reaches for you when they want to be picked up(8)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(7):

• Attempts to use things properly (like a phone)

• Stacks small objects, like blocks, two or more at a time

Cognitive Checklist(7):

• Feeds herself food by using her fingers

• Walks (at least a few steps) independently

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 13 to 15 Month Old

Narrate Your Day

Even though your young toddler isn’t capable of having full blown conversations just yet, the more you talk to them, the more words they’ll be exposed to and encouraged to pick up. By talking to your toddler, you’re helping develop their language skills.(4) Generally toddlers understand more than what they can communicate on their own.(4)

Choose Toys Wisely

By this age, your toddler can pick things up with his finger and thumb.(6) So choose toys that help him develop his hand-eye coordination and motor skills.(3) (Puzzles with large pieces and vibrant colors are great for hand-eye coordination!) Avoid toys with small pieces as your toddler may try to put them in his mouth. Toys that encourage repetition and walking around (like push toys) can help with their development and show off those brand-new walking skills!

Have Playdates

By setting up playdates for your child, you’re giving him a change of scenery and a chance to practice his budding social skills.(10) Don’t be alarmed if your toddler is less than enthused about his new pal, however. He may grab a toy from his playdate or shove the other child out of the way to get something he wants.(10) This is because he hasn’t mastered the concept of empathy, yet!(10) But the chance to interact with and observe peers can still be useful (and you may enjoy getting some adult conversation in, too!).

Make Reading Part of Your Routine

Even babies get pleasure from books! By this age, your child can select the book they want you to read to them.(5) They’ll even be able to point to pictures they like.(5) So encourage your 13- to 15-month-old to participate in the bedtime reading routine. If there are animals in the book, make the sound the animal makes so your toddler can imitate you. When your child points to an image, name what they’re pointing to. They’ll be able to pay attention for at least a few minutes while you enjoy looking at a book together, so help them turn the pages and get reading!(5)

Every Stage is Full of Surprises

Support your child through all stages of development! To read more blogs like this with helpful parenting tips, subscribe to my newsletter!

You can also check out the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series for more information on your child’s development and how to help them grow and learn! For more info on newborns to 6 month olds, click here. For 7 to 9 month olds, click here. And to learn about 10 to 12 month olds, click here. 

References

1. (2020, August). Geddes, J. When do babies start walking? What to Expect. https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/first-steps/

2. (2022, March). Dewar, G. When do babies start walking, and how does it develop? Parenting Science. https://parentingscience.com/when-do-babies-start-walking/

3. (2020, November). 13-month-old: toddlerhood has begun! Pampers. https://www.pampers.com/en-us/toddler/development/article/13-month-old?web_traffic_source=direct

4. (2019, October). St. Clair, M., Lloyd-Esenkaya, V. When should my child start speaking? The Conversation. https://theconversation.com/when-should-my-child-start-speaking-122579

5. (2013, March). How to share books with your 12- to 14-month-old. Healthy Children. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/How-to-Share-Books-with-Your-12-to-14-Month-Old.aspx?_gl=1*1drff11*_ga*MTA4NjE2NzAyOS4xNjUyMzA3OTY2*_ga_FD9D3XZVQQ*MTY1MjMwNzk2Ni4xLjEuMTY1MjMwODA5Ny4w&_ga=2.230413080.505984204.1652307967-1086167029.1652307966

6. Infant & Toddler Development. 13-15 Months. The Parent Line. http://www.theparentline.org/infant-toddler-development/13-15-months/

7. (2022, March). Important milestones: your baby by fifteen months. Center for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-15mo.html

8. Toddler Month by Month: 13 Months. The Bump. https://www.thebump.com/toddler-month-by-month/13-month-old

9. Logan-Banks, P. Developmental milestones: self-care Baby Centre. https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6503/developmental-milestones-self-care

10. (2022, March). Masters, M. 15-month-old child. What to Expect. https://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/15-month-old.aspx