Madeleine Vieira 12/15/22 Madeleine Vieira 12/15/22

Early Childhood Development: Your Helpful and Social 5 Year Old

Your five-year-old is coming into their own and soaking up everything like a sponge! They might enjoy potty humor and love to tell wild, imaginative stories, but they also want to contribute in real ways to your family. Whether they’re following your instructions on how to set the table or pulling weeds from the garden, they love to help out in meaningful ways.

Group of preschooler children looking down into camera

Your five year old is coming into their own and soaking up everything like a sponge! They might enjoy potty humor and love to tell wild, imaginative stories, but they also want to contribute in real ways to your family. Whether they’re following your instructions on how to set the table or pulling weeds from the garden, they love to help out in meaningful ways.

Early Childhood Development: Your 5 Year Old Preschooler and What to Expect

Vocabulary Development

Your child’s vocabulary is still growing and growing! On average, a five year old will know roughly 2,000 words.(2) The back-and-forth conversations are also getting longer, and typically five-year-olds say sentences that are at least five words long.(2) And boy do five year olds love to share their opinions!(1) Ask them questions, listen closely to their thoughtful explanations, and encourage them to tell stories. At this age, children also have longer attention spans, so they can follow multi-step instructions and do more complex projects.(1)

Motor Skills Development

Your five-year-old may have impressive gross motor skills! They’ll jump and climb, run and dance. You may find they’re interested in doing gymnastics, karate or ballet.(7) They’re also developing fine motor skills by using scissors, practicing writing their name, and drawing shapes.(7)

Whiney Behavior

If you have a five year old, you’ve certainly heard them whine. It’s an annoying behavior, but also completely normal at this development stage.(7) Whining peaks between ages 2 and 4, but your five year old may also whine when they’re expressing, “I need you and your help.”(7) Consider whether your child is tired, stressed, hungry, uncomfortable, or cranky.(7) It may also be a signal that they need more connection.

Early Childhood Development: 5 Year Old Milestones

Social/Emotional Checklist(3)

Knows how to follow rules and take turns when playing with other children
Can do simple chores like matching socks when sorting the laundry
Likes to sing, dance, or act for you
Wants to be liked and tries to please their friends(4)
Demonstrates independence(4)
Follows rules (most of the time)(4)

Language/Communication Checklist(3)

After you read or tell a story to them, can answer simple questions about it
Tells stories with at least two events
Has conversations with more than three back-and-forth exchanges
Recognizes or says simple rhymes, like cat and rat
Uses the future tense(4)
Talk about people by their relationship to others, like “Melissa’s mom” or “Justin’s cat”(4)
Understands the relationship between people and objects, such as “the girl who is kicking the ball”(4)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(3)

Can hop on one foot
Able to button some buttons
Can swing, climb, do somersaults, and maybe skip(4)
Toilet trained, though they may still wet the bed occasionally(4)
Eats with a fork and spoon(4)
Is able to dress/undress themselves(4)

Cognitive Checklist(3)

Can write some of the letters in their name
Recognizes most of the letters in the alphabet 4)
Knows their address and phone number by heart(4)
Can draw people with a head, body, arms and legs(4)
Can count to 10
When you point to numbers between 1 and 5, can name some of them
Uses words to show an understanding of time, like “yesterday” or “night”
Knows what basic household objects are used for(4)
Can focus for 5 to 10 minutes on an activity like arts and crafts, story time, or another non-screen activity
Knows their colors and directional words like “over” or “next to”(2)
Follows instructions with three or fewer steps like, “Grab your lunch, put on your coat, and wait by the door”(2)

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 5 Year Old

Give Your Child Meaningful Tasks

Preschoolers love to be helpful. They enjoy feeling like they’re contributing in a meaningful way. Give your child simple household chores to build their self-esteem and teach cooperation and responsibility.(5) Let them set the table, bring in the newspaper, water the flowers, or do other age-appropriate chores around the house.

Encourage Movement

Recreational sports are a great way for your child to learn how to be a good sport, play fairly, cooperate with teammates, and take turns. (5) Even if your child isn’t signed up for team sports, encourage them to move! Preschoolers are recommended to get at least three hours of physical activity per day.(6)

Play Together

While recreational sports are a fun way to move, make friends, and learn how to play on a team, they don’t replace the importance of playing with you! Spending quality time together will allow you to bond and give your child a chance to express their thoughts and share their feelings with you.(5) And don’t forget that playtime is an excellent sign to practice learning, too! When you’re at the park or talking a walk around your neighborhood, ask your child to practice reading signs to you! Or if you’re playing hopscotch, ask your child to draw the numbers with sidewalk chalk.

Set up Play Dates With Friends

By the time they’re five years old, children show an interest in being social, interacting with other children, and communicating back and forth with others.(7) But even outgoing, gregarious children can sometimes feel shy in new or uncertain situations. Setting up play dates before your child goes to kindergarten can help ease the transition to school.

Every Stage Comes With Joys and Challenges

Each step of the way, you have the opportunity to help your child learn and grow. Subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful parenting tips, and don’t miss the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series!

References

Madeleine Vieira 12/5/22 Madeleine Vieira 12/5/22

The Do’s and Don’ts of Feeding a Preschooler

You’re tired of the fights at mealtime. You don’t feel good about serving plain pasta with butter for dinner again. But you also don’t want to argue every time you sit down to eat. You just want your child to eat a nutritious meal without all the theatrics and protests.

Mealtimes with young children can be incredibly frustrating. They have short attention spans, they reject the food you’re serving, and they won’t eat much (or at all, for that matter!)

Sound familiar?

Many parents go through difficult phases with their young children rejecting food. Could sensory differences be one reason why?

Mealtimes with young children can be incredibly frustrating. They have short attention spans, they reject the food you’re serving, and they won’t eat much (or at all, for that matter!)

Sound familiar?

Many parents go through difficult phases with their young children rejecting food. Could sensory differences be one reason why?

We all Have Foods we Like and Dislike

You may not like to hear it, but your child may process sensory information differently than you.(1) Food that is the right temperature for you might be too hot for them.(1) Or a dish that smells delicious to you may smell gross to them.(1) The same thing goes for texture. Your child might prefer hard, crunchy foods and loathe eating soft, squishy foods, or vice versa. And since food changes as we chew it --- oranges, for example, leak juice when we chew them --- sometimes children struggle with that.(1)

I’m sure you have foods you love and foods you hate. And I’m sure your preferences have changed over time! Maybe you used to loathe Brussels sprouts, but once you tried them with bacon, your mind changed. Or maybe you used to be unable to tolerate spicy foods, but now you love them. I promise, your child won’t only eat beige foods, forever.

Culture Plays a Huge Role in Feeding Practices

Feeding practices will undoubtedly vary from culture to culture, and you hold food-related beliefs whether you’re conscious of them or not. Some families have food restrictions due to religious affiliations. Others observe fasting rituals.(5) Culture plays a huge role in when and what we feed our families.(5)

French schools serve four courses at lunch, for example, even for young kids who start school at age three!(2) A school lunch in France will consist of a vegetable starter, a warm main course, usually with a side of veggies or grains, a cheese course, and a piece of fresh fruit for dessert.(2) Of course fresh baguette is also served --- no surprises there. Kids drink water with their meals --- no juice boxes or chocolate milks. French schools have a national ban on junk food and vending machines.(2) In Japan, students are typically served a meat or fish dish with rice, soup and a salad. American school lunches might be a slice of pizza or a sandwich.

Food is so deeply intertwined into culture that what you feed your children varies greatly depending on where you live.

But Here Are Some Tips You Can Try no Matter Where You Are in the World.

Do be patient with your child about trying new foods.

Research shows that it may take a dozen tries before children accept a new food.(4) Continue to offer foods your child has rejected in the past. Put the new, unfamiliar food on the table so they see you serving it to yourself and enjoying it. Over time, they’ll get used to seeing this food in your meal rotation, and they should be more likely to try it.

Don’t force your child to eat something they don’t want to eat.

It’s your job to prepare and provide healthy food for your child. It’s not your job to force them to eat it.

Do encourage your child to touch and taste new foods.

Once they’re comfortable with that, encourage them to chew and swallow it.

Don’t be discouraged by rejections.

You child isn’t rejecting you or your cooking, even though it may feel like that. Often it just takes children a while to warm up to a new food.

Do allow your child to help with meal prep and cooking from time to time.

Yes, it may take longer, and yes, it will probably require more clean up. But children are more likely to try a new food if they’re involved in the process. (1) Let them tear the lettuce to make the salad or put shredded carrots in a bowl, for example.(9)

Don’t force your child to eat when they aren’t hungry.

Children should learn to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full.(5) If your child doesn’t want to eat their dinner, let them know they can eat at the next regular snack or meal time.(9) It might be counterintuitive to let your child have control over how much they’re eating, but it’s important they learn to recognize their bodily cues of being hungry or full.(9)

Do talk about the sensory experience of eating.

Use words like, “this food is crunchy,” or “this food is chewy.”(1) This lends language to your child’s experience and helps them understand what’s going on when they’re eating different foods.(1)

Don’t use food as a reward.

You can offer other kinds of rewards that don’t relate to food if you want to reinforce good behavior. Try offering an extra bedtime story or a play date with a friend instead of offering dessert as a reward. You don’t want to teach your children that veggies are a nasty punishment while sweets are given only when they’re good!(3)

Do stick to a schedule as best you can so your child knows when to expect to eat.

Whether or not you believe in snacking throughout the day is also largely based on culture --- French children rarely snack, for example, but that may be partially because they’re served such a large, nutritious lunch. American children may be used to grazing throughout the day or having one or two scheduled daily snacks.

Don’t allow your child to run or lie down while eating.

They should sit while they eat to reduce the risk of choking.

Do your best to fill half of your child’s plate with colorful fruits and veggies.

The other half should be split between protein and whole grains. (6) Whole grains can still spike blood sugar, so be mindful of how much bread, pizza or pasta you and your child are eating.(6)

Don’t worry if your preschooler’s appetite varies day to day.

Discuss any weight or dietary concerns with your child’s pediatrician. But it is common for preschoolers’ appetites to vary. Try to make sure they’re getting the nutrition they need across the entire week as opposed to worrying about every single meal.

A note on food refusal:

I know that food refusal is incredibly frustrating. It’s such a waste --- of your money, your time, not to mention the food itself. And food insecurity is a real issue many families face.

But if your child is refusing to eat at mealtimes, do your best to stay calm. Try not to engage in a power struggle. It’s your job to do your best to prepare and provide healthy food for your child. It’s not your job to force them to eat it. In general we want to avoid forcing a child to eat a food or ‘clean their plate’ before they leave the table.(5) This puts pressure on your child and makes mealtimes stressful.

Interested in Learning More?

Check out this podcast episode for more information on what and how to feed your preschooler! We also talk about what to do if your child won’t eat at preschool and whether it’s normal if they’re completely fixated on sweets.

Equip yourself with knowledge and tools to help your child thrive. And be sure to subscribe to the Genius Little Minds podcast so you never miss an episode!

References

$What is My Preschooler Thinking About? How Does My Preschooler’s Brain Work?$

Madeleine Vieira 11/7/22 Madeleine Vieira 11/7/22

What is My Preschooler Thinking About? How Does My Preschooler’s Brain Work?

The brain is the most complex and fascinating organ in the human body. There are so many parts working together to allow your preschooler to walk, talk, play, and feel.

The left side of the brain, for example, is responsible for speech and logical thinking. It’s literal and logical and loves order and organization.(3) When your preschooler is working on a puzzle, for example, it’s a great left brain exercise!(11)

The right side of the brain is responsible for spatial thinking, reading nonverbal cues, and processing emotions. (3,4) Rather than being detail-oriented like the left brain, it cares about the big picture. Think of it as the more emotional and experiential of the two hemispheres.(3) Playing a matching game with your child is a great right brain exercise!(11)

Girl wearing glasses with math equations on blackboard behind her

The brain is the most complex and fascinating organ in the human body. There are so many parts working together to allow your preschooler to walk, talk, play, and feel.

The right side of the brain is responsible for spatial thinking, reading nonverbal cues, and processing emotions.(3,4) Rather than being detail-oriented like the left brain, it cares about the big picture. Think of it as the more emotional and experiential of the two hemispheres.(3) Playing a matching game with your child is a great right brain exercise!(11)

When children are very young, they’re right-hemisphere dominant, especially in their first three years of life.(3) Have you noticed how young children are so good at being focused in the present moment? They’re taken with the most ordinary things — the color of the fall leaves on the ground, a lady bug crawling on a bench, a tremendously smooth rock. Everything seems to delight and surprise them. Until, of course, a wave of very big emotions crashes over them and the tears or tantrums start.

When children become emotionally flooded, their right brains are working in overdrive.(3) Their more logical left brain isn’t working in sync with the right hemisphere.(3)

When the Right Brain is Working in Overdrive: Connect and Redirect(3)

If your child comes to you with big feelings — and they might seem illogical, ill-timed or blown out of proportion to you — rather than trying to “logic” them out of their tears and hurt, allow your child to “feel felt”. The concept of “Connect and Redirect” is from Dan Siegel and Tina Bryson’s book, The Whole Brain Child. Connect to your preschooler’s flooded right brain with empathy and loving support. The act of acknowledging your child’s big feelings is actually what will soothe them and steer the conversation toward more solid, logical ground.

So speak in a nurturing tone of voice. Offer comforting physical touch. And listen without judgment. This empathy will go a long way in restoring calm and helping your preschooler mover on with their day.

Connect and Redirect in Practice

We don’t want our children to be drowning in feelings all the time, but we also don’t want them living in an emotional desert. That’s why we care about integration, which is when all of the parts of the brain to work together in harmony.

Using the Connect and Redirect method, once you’ve connected to your child’s right brain, you can redirect the conversation with the more logical left brain.

For example:

If your preschooler is furious he can’t go to school barefoot, starting your response with the logical reply that going to school with shoes on keeps him safe will likely cause more outrage or protestation.

To adults, saying, “Put your shoes on now so you don’t step on something dangerous,” is very logical. But for your preschooler, this isn’t going to calm the storm.

Connect and Attune First.

Try saying something like, “You’re frustrated because you want to go to school barefoot!” This acknowledges their feelings — frustration — helping them feel seen and heard.

Often children are so frustrated with adults because they get told ‘no’ all the time. Their feelings get belittled or bulldozed on accident when we’re in a rush and trying to get out the door to get to school on time. But remember, time passes a lot more slowly for a preschooler. Slow down to truly connect.

Then Offer a Logical Explanation and Make a Plan Together.

Once your child is a bit calmer, they’re more primed to hear reason and logic. You could say something like, “Our house is a safe place to walk barefoot. When we get home from preschool today, would you like to walk around barefoot together?”

This offers up an explanation while also presenting a new plan without saying “No” outright.

Why Oh Why Is My Preschooler Constantly Asking “Why?”

A question for the ages! Toddlers and preschoolers are known for their incessant curiosity. And when “Why?” keeps on coming, you know their left brain is starting to ramp up. They’re looking for answers, they want to know about cause and effect relationships, and they want to understand the connections between things.(3) A whole day with your preschooler might feel exhausting to you because all they do is ask why, why, and WHY! And want to know more, more, more!

And not all of their questions will be polite! If you’re the parent of a preschooler, I’m sure you’ve been mortified by a question your child asked loudly in public.

Why Is My Preschooler Obsessed With Death?

Is your preschooler displaying (what you consider to be) an unusual amount of interest in death? It doesn’t mean they’re going to be interested in the macabre forever! This is actually a very normal part of preschooler development.

They won’t yet understand the 4 subconcepts of death(10):

Non-functionality — When you die, your body stops working.
Universality — All living things die.
Irreversibility — You can’t come back to life once you’re dead.
Inevitability — Death is unavoidable.

They’ll only understand the first. And while you may not want to confront your own mortality at 7 am on the way to school or in the checkout line at the grocery, this curiosity really is normal, especially at this age.(10)

So if your child does come to you asking about death, respond as simply and clearly as you can. You don’t need to go into detail, but try not to brush off their questions, even if they make you uncomfortable.(10)

What Are Some of the Negative Effects of Screen Time on Child Development?

Children age 8 and younger typically spend two hours a day (on average) looking at a screen.(6)

Most scientist and doctors will tell you that screen time alters children’s brains. Some argue that screens help prepare children’s brains for the fast paced, high stimulus world we live in.(6)

But screens give off a lot of information and visual input. And the faster the visual stimuli is moving and changing, the faster your brain has to work to keep up and process it.(6)

And when that screen is taken away, there’s some cognitive slowing that happens afterward.(6)

You know that look your child gets after they’ve watched cartoons or played on the iPad for a few hours? The daze that follows is the cognitive slowing that happens after overstimulation.(6)

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends we not let children between the ages of 2 and 5 exceed one hour of screen time per day.(6) One study found that children who looked at screens for more than one hour per day had lower levels of white matter integrity in the brain.(6,7) White matter supports literacy skills and language development.(7)

The stimuli from screen time can be total sensory overload — all the colors and sounds and story lines can be a lot for a young child to try to process — causing stress hormones like cortisol to be released. The reward system also gets activated by screen time, flooding the brain with dopamine, getting children used to and seeking immediate gratification.(6)

As with anything, be mindful about how much screen time your preschooler is getting.

Interested in Learning More?

Check out this podcast episode for more information on your preschooler’s amazing cognitive development. We also talk about how to help your child remember their experiences and what to do if your preschooler talks incessantly or starts using their baby voice again.

Equip yourself with knowledge and tools to help your child thrive. And be sure to subscribe to the Genius Little Minds podcast so you never miss an episode!

References