Madeleine Vieira 11/21/22 Madeleine Vieira 11/21/22

Is My Child Learning in Preschool? Yes, Your Child is Learning When They Play

Children learn many valuable skills during the preschool years. They’re learning how to communicate with and listen to others and how to follow directions. They’re developing fine and gross motor skills, and engaging with other children in cooperative play.

The point of preschool is to teach children important skills that will lay the groundwork for their future success. Skills like reading, writing, school readiness, and social skills like how to cooperate with others are all explored in preschool.(1)

4 Types of Play in Early Childhood

Play is absolutely essential to your child’s learning and development!(18)

Preschoolers learn through fun and games! When children play, they are developing their cognitive, linguistic, physical, social and emotional skills.(18)

There Are Several Different Types of Play, but They Often Overlap(6)

1. Dramatic Play involves dressing up in costumes, playing pretend, and acting out stories. It helps children explore self-empowerment, make choices and express their feelings.(10)

2. Manipulative Play involves building something (e.g. with Legos), putting a puzzle together, or stringing beads to create a necklace.(6) It teaches children about sequencing, patterns, order, colors and textures, and how to make comparisons.(7) It also helps children to practice their decision-making skills, analyze and solve problems, and learn about cause and effect.(7)

3. Physical Play involves being physically active and developing gross motor skills. Preschoolers should get at least 3 hours of physical activity per day.(9)

4. Creative Play involves using art supplies to create while developing fine motor skills. Holding writing utensils takes strength and coordination! Through creative play, your child will practice holding writing utensils and writing their letters and their name.(1)

Play is so vital to early childhood development that sustained, moderate to severe play deprivation in childhood (between the ages of 0 and 10) has been shown to have serious negative consequences. (19) Depression, fragile and shallower relationships, reduced self-control, a propensity for addiction and difficulty adapting to change later in life are linked to play deprivation in the early years.(19)

2 Stages of Play: Cooperative Play vs. Associative Play

You may remember from this blog post that there are 6 stages of play. Preschoolers move from associative play into cooperative play between the ages of 4 and 6.(20)

Associative play, which is stage 5 of 6, is when children play with each other but aren’t working together to reach a common goal.(14) Cooperative play, the last and final stage, is when your child is interested not just in playing, but in cooperating with other children to accomplish a goal. There will likely be a division of labor, rules, assigned roles and organization as they work together toward that goal.(14)

So what does this look like in practice? It’s the difference between playing side by side in a sandbox, talking with other children while working on their own sandcastles (associative play), and working together to build one magnificent sandcastle (cooperative play).

Cooperative play is a learned skill requiring self-regulation and the ability to balance individual needs and wants with the needs and wants of the group.(14) Preschool is a great place for your child to practice and build his or her cooperative play skills.

Learning Happens Inside and Outside the Classroom

Literacy and Language Skills for Preschoolers

Have you ever noticed how your preschooler’s classroom is filled with simple images with the object name displayed? You might notice a bus icon, a cat, the sun, a ball — this is to help your child make connections between the object and the letters and words.(1) Every day your preschooler is becoming aware of letters, numbers, shapes and symbols. Whether they’re sitting on the alphabet rug for circle time, singing songs or reciting rhymes, your child’s literacy skills are growing.(1)

Math Skills for Preschoolers

Your preschooler is also practicing their basic math skills by learning to count, identify patterns, and group similar objects together. Older preschoolers will be able to answer questions like, “How many toy cars are on the floor?” and group objects that go together, like books or blocks. (13) To nurture counting skills, ask your preschooler questions like, “How many apple slices are on your plate?” or “How many steps is it from here to the car?” To grow their sorting skills, have your preschooler help you sort laundry, putting all the red clothes in a pile or matching each family member’s socks.(13)

Science Skills for Preschoolers

Science skills are also introduced at this age, and your preschooler is probably already a natural scientist, curious about the world and eager to explore. Encourage your child to interact with and learn about nature, ask questions and conduct experiments, and even talk with them about scientific concepts.

Cooking is a great example of how to incorporate scientific exploration into play. If you invite your child to help you bake something, let them practice skills like measuring and mixing ingredients.

Tricky Preschooler Behaviors

Preschool isn’t all fun and games. And preschoolers can present some challenging behaviors. This is to be expected! All preschoolers act out sometimes.

Tantrums

In a perfect world, the tantrums will have stopped by the time your child is 4-years-old. Typically, tantrums do decline with age. If your preschooler is having frequent tantrums, they have not quite learned how to cope with frustration and regulate their feelings.(17) Talk to your pediatrician if you suspect underlying causes of tantrums in your older child, such as a sensory processing issue, a speech delay or an underlying mental health disorder.(17)

Fighting

If you notice your child is about to start fighting with a sibling over a toy, try diverting their attention before the fighting starts, or offer choices so your children can proactively be involved in the decision-making of what happens next. (4)

Lying

If you catch your preschooler lying, you may be worried you’re raising a devious child. But the truth is — pun intended — that between the ages of 4 and 5, what’s real versus fantasy is still a bit blurry.(15) Preschoolers’ memories are short. Your child may have forgotten she’s done something wrong. Or she’s convinced herself she didn’t do the “bad” thing (like accidentally break mommy’s vase).(15)

Interested in Learning More?

Check out this podcast episode for more information on preschooler play, learning and behavior! We also talk about what to do if your child is potty trained but too shy to use the toilet at school and how to handle lying, bossiness, and playground aggression.

Equip yourself with knowledge and tools to help your child thrive. And be sure to subscribe to the Genius Little Minds podcast so you never miss an episode!

References

Madeleine Vieira 8/3/22 Madeleine Vieira 8/3/22

How to Help a Child Who Is Struggling to Make Friends: 8 Tips and Tricks

Most of us reflect fondly on some of the friends that we had in our childhood. Whether it was a friend that lived just down the block that we biked to see every day or a friend we made at summer camp and have kept in touch with ever since. Friendships can be one of the sweetest parts of childhood.

Today, however, we are seeing more and more children struggle to establish and maintain healthy friendships. The pandemic and lockdowns drastically changed children’s social lives. For months on end, most children only interacted with their siblings or even no children at all.

Now, as many children have transitioned back to in-person learning and full daycare and preschool, they may have social skills to catch up on.

So, how do we help bridge this gap? Let’s dig into it.

Now, as many children have transitioned back to in-person learning and full daycare and preschool, they may have social skills to catch up on.

So, how do we help bridge this gap? Let’s dig into it.

Friendships Are Essential to Healthy Development

You know that a good friendship is good for the soul. You likely have people in your life who you don't know how you would live without.

It can be easy to forget that our children are really just little adults with all those same social and emotional needs. They long for connection and relationships with others just like we do.

Additionally, friendship has so many other benefits. Here are just a few:

Lower stress levels(1)
Providing a sense of belonging
Higher self-esteem
Encouraging good behavior

Good friendships can also help children develop social and emotional skills. Through conversations and interactions with their peers, they learn the rules of conversation.(2) They are also exposed to others’ viewpoints, learning how to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Being around their peers also shows them what type of behavior is appropriate for their age and situation.

Studies have shown that children with high-quality friendships are more likely to perform well at school. This likely relates to friends helping a child feel comfortable, valued, and welcome in their classroom. Reliable friendships can also make big transitions, like from one grade to the next, easier.

The need for friendship and the benefits experienced by it are equal for boys and girls. We need to remember that boys need quality relationships and connections just as much as girls do.

On the flip side, there are significant challenges that come with not having good friends. More than 50% of children who have been referred for emotional-behavioral problems report having no friends.(4)

Trouble making friendships and keeping healthy relationships often carries into adulthood.(3) These social skills are ones that we need to be teaching our children early on so that they are set up for success.

Why Friendship in Childhood Can Be Difficult

Children lack the practice that adults have in interpersonal skills. They don’t always know how to read social cues and how to act in certain situations.(5)

Some children are a bit more shy and anxious and struggle to start friendships because of this. Other children haven’t yet learned good empathy skills and find it difficult to think about others and their feelings.

If your child is struggling to make friends, it could be for a variety of reasons. Sitting down and having a conversation with them is a great place to start. You can try to understand what they are feeling and experiencing. Then together, form a strategy to build and maintain friendships.

Maybe you need a few pointers to get you started. Here are some of my best tips for helping your child make friends.

8 Tips for Helping Your Child Make Friends

Model what good friendship looks like. Let them watch you make conversation with other adults and children. Tell them when you are reaching out to check on your friend or sending them a gift to brighten their day. Involve them in activities that you do with your friends.
Encourage friendships that are good for your child. You may be thinking, ‘I don’t even know who my child could be friends with.’ If so, this is the first place to start. Talk with your child to identify who they might like to be friends with. You could enlist the help of their teacher or another adult in their life to identify good friends. Then, put in the effort to schedule play dates and fun activities with that child. If you can’t find any particular friends that your child may enjoy, consider enrolling them in group activities, like ballet or football.
Recognize their personality and adjust to it. Every child is unique, just like every adult is unique. Some are introverted while others are extroverted. Some enjoy being in crowds and attending big events while others don’t. Recognize that your child (and their friends) may have a different idea of quality time together than you do. Adjust your activities and plans accordingly.
Role play with your child. Practice what they should say and do in certain situations. Let them practice introducing themselves and asking if the other child would like to play with them. Make conversation with them and guide it in a direction that it would typically go between two children, such as talking about their favorite toy or kind of ice cream.
Reinforce and praise them when they interact well with their peers. Especially in the first few years, you will likely be around for every one of your child’s social interactions. When you see them being kind, sharing, taking turns, and making conversation, praise them. Let them know that they are doing a great job.
Discuss and identify your child’s emotions. Help your child figure out what they are feeling and name it. Many childhood friendships suffer because of a lack of emotional awareness and emotional regulation. Giving your child the tools to manage their emotions will help them avoid this.
Help your child put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Empathy and compassion are essential to making relationships work. Children aren’t born with the ability to see things from another person’s perspective. We need to guide them and help them identify what other children are feeling and how to handle those feelings.
Demonstrate how to say sorry and make amends. Nobody is perfect. Sometimes your child is going to hurt someone else and sometimes your child is going to be the one that’s hurt. We need to demonstrate to our children not only how to apologize and ask forgiveness, but also how to forgive and set healthy boundaries.

Friendships can feel difficult and time-consuming to maintain at times. However, every human needs connection with other humans; it’s how we’re wired.

Before your children are fully independent in their social skills, they may need your help with this. That is totally normal and okay. Give them the tools and information they need and get ready to watch them succeed.

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References