Madeleine Vieira 8/25/22 Madeleine Vieira 8/25/22

5 Tricky Toddler Behaviors for Parents and Caregivers to Understand

If you’re the parent of a toddler, chances are you’ve seen your fair share of temper tantrums, dealt with hitting or biting, or gotten into power struggles with your child.

While the toddler years are a wonderful time of exploration and development, they also can be trying on parents or caregivers.

One minute your child is being oh-so-sweet and angelic and the next they’re throwing a fit in the middle of the frozen food aisle.

Let’s tackle 5 tricky (but common) toddler behaviors and gain insight into why they occur.

If you’re the parent of a toddler, chances are you’ve seen your fair share of temper tantrums, dealt with hitting or biting, or gotten into power struggles with your child.

While the toddler years are a wonderful time of exploration and development, they also can be trying on parents or caregivers.

One minute your child is being oh-so-sweet and angelic and the next they’re throwing a fit in the middle of the frozen food aisle.

Let’s tackle 5 tricky (but common) toddler behaviors and gain insight into why they occur.

Why Does My Toddler Throw Temper Tantrums?

Temper tantrums are a normal part of childhood development. They’re your two- or three-year-old’s way of expressing big emotions they’re unable to regulate. Young children are not able to express frustration, anxiety, or anger the way older children or adults can because their brains are still immature.

It’s normal for toddlers to throw tantrums because they haven’t yet learned the ins and outs of:(2)

Impulse control
Communicating their needs or wants
Self-soothing
Delaying gratification
Problem solving
Navigating situations with appropriate responses

The good news is, by age three and a half, most children have few or no tantrums.(1)

There’s no such thing as a “tantrum disorder.”(2) But frequent or persistent tantrums may be an indication of a larger issue that needs to be addressed. Children with ADHD are particularly prone to outbursts or meltdowns because they struggle with poor impulse control and being bored.(2) A recent study showed that over 75% of children who had severe temper outbursts also fit the criteria for ADHD.(2) Children with autism or anxiety may struggle with unexpected changes or unfamiliar situations and have a tantrum as a result.(2) And children with sensory processing issues may have a tantrum if they are experiencing sensory overload.(2) Depression or undiagnosed learning disorders could also be contributing factors to children throwing tantrums.(2)

Emotion-regulation is a skill children need to be taught, just like problem-solving or communicating their needs.

And when a child can’t emotionally regulate, a tantrum, or two other common toddler behaviors, may ensue.

Why Does My Toddler Bite and Hit?

It may surprise you to learn that biting is a common behavior among toddlers. It typically happens when a child is trying to communicate a need or cope with a difficult emotion. For example, your toddler may become frustrated or mad when a sibling takes his toy. He needs to self-regulate and cope with the anger and frustration but doesn’t know how, so biting ensues.

A Few Reasons Toddlers May Bite or Hit:

They are still developing their impulse control skills
They don’t yet know how to delay gratification
They’re overwhelmed and don’t know how to regulate themselves
They lack the skills to communicate their strong feelings with words
They don’t understand what constitutes an appropriate response to dealing with a challenge

On episode 13 of Genius Little Minds, I give some tips for things you can do and say when your child has bitten another child. Check out the podcast episode here.

Why Does My Toddler Refuse to Share?

Sharing is tough! Even for adults, it’s sometimes difficult.

It’s not very realistic to expect your 2-year-old to be a competent sharer. They’re just too young to grasp the concept. They’re also lacking language skills to express themselves fully, so they often can’t explain why they just don’t want toshare.

So if your young toddler hasn’t yet mastered the art of sharing, don’t sweat it. This skill doesn’t develop until a child is about 3 and a half or 4 years old.(5)

Sharing is a learned skill, so talking about it (without imposing unrealistic expectation that it will happen overnight) can be helpful. Try pointing out moments in your daily life when sharing occurs, like when you share your food with your spouse or take turns using an electronic device.

Why Is My Toddler Not Seeking Independence?

You’ve probably heard that two-year-olds have a lot of opinions. After all, everyone says they love the word “no”, want to dress themselves and try new things. But what if your child doesn’t fit that description?

Of course as a parent, you play a huge role in your child’s life. Your behaviors and parenting style have a huge impact on how your child acts and interacts with the world.

Now I’m not here to shame anyone’s parenting... I know everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources available to them. But there are two parenting styles that can either encourage the development of autonomy or hinder it.

Autonomy Supporting Parenting

Also know as Autonomy Granting Parenting, Autonomy Supporting Parenting encourages independence in ways that are gentle and appropriate.(4)

Children with Autonomy Supporting parents are allowed to explore new, non-threatening situations without interference. (4) This teaches them independence and the idea that it’s OK to be themselves.

Protective Parenting

Protective Parenting is “the broad restriction of a child’s autonomy.”(4) And it “can increase the risk of child anxiety development.”(4)

To some degree, every parent is protective of their children. But Protective Parenting can interfere with a child’s discovery or the magical world of autonomy. It can hinder independent exploration and reduce their confidence.(4)

Interested in Learning More?

Check out this podcast episode for more information on these tricky — but common — toddler behaviors. Learn what to do when your toddler starts to hit the dog… or their sibling. Gain insight into how to handle a toddler who won’t get dressed, and what to do when your child simply won’t. stop. screaming. I also provide a few scripts for what to say to your toddler in these tough situations.

Equip yourself with knowledge and tools to help your child thrive. And be sure to subscribe to the Genius Little Minds podcast so you never miss an episode!

References

Madeleine Vieira 5/1/22 Madeleine Vieira 5/1/22

Autism Spectrum Disorder: What Parents Need to Know

Did you know that 1 in 44 children are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder?(1)

If you have a child who is currently or has recently been diagnosed with autism, you may be feeling overwhelmed and confused.

You may be wondering what this diagnosis means for your child's future.

What treatment options are available? What can you do to help your child?

Here's what parents need to know about autism spectrum disorder in children.

Did you know that 1 in 44 children are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder?(1)

If you have a child who is currently or has recently been diagnosed with autism, you may be feeling overwhelmed and confused.

You may be wondering what this diagnosis means for your child's future.

What treatment options are available? What can you do to help your child?

Here's what parents need to know about autism spectrum disorder in children.

What is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)?

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurological condition that affects social skills, communication, and behavior.

It's lifelong and can range from mild to severe—with widely varying symptoms.

What Causes Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Diagnoses of ASD are on the rise. What remains unclear is whether we're learning more about autism and are therefore diagnosing more children, if there truly is an increase in autism cases, or a combination of both.(2)

Autism spectrum disorder seems to be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental risk factors.

Research shows an association between genes and autism, and many of the genes seem to be involved in brain development. It's estimated that genetic factors may contribute to 40-80% of the risk of developing ASD.(3)

While autism is present across all cultures, races, and ethnicities, some groups are more likely to be diagnosed than others.

For example, boys are four times more likely to be diagnosed with ASD than girls.(4)

It also tends to run in families. If a parent or sibling has ASD, it increases the likelihood that the child will have ASD.(5)

What Are the Signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder in Children?

While the symptoms and severity of ASD can vary greatly, there are some commonalities.

The two main categories of autism characteristics include:

· Challenges with social skills and communication
· Restricted and repetitive behaviors

Social and Communication Difficulties

Persistent difficulties with communication and social interaction are hallmarks of autism.

These can manifest in several ways, such as:

·       Delayed speech and language skills
·       Eye contact avoidance
·       Repetitive or unusual use of language
·       Poor understanding of social cues
·       Challenges understanding others' emotions
·       Difficulties expressing their own emotions

Restricted and Repetitive Behaviors

Children with ASD may display restricted and repetitive behaviors.

This may include:

·       Stereotypical body movements, like hand flapping or spinning
·       Obsessive interests in certain topics
·       Repetitive use of language or phrases
·       Inflexible thinking or behaviors
·       Need for routine
·       Difficulty with new experiences
·       Sensory sensitivities

Is your child's favorite food the brand-name organic white cheddar crackers that come in the purple packaging? (You learned your lesson when you tried to switch to the store brand and the meltdown ensued.)

Children with autism often have very specific interests and may become fixated on certain objects or routines.

They may also have sensory sensitivities, such as an aversion to loud noises.

The world to the child with autism can seem like a confusing and unpredictable place. Routine can provide a sense of security.

How Is Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosed?

There is no medical detection for autism and no single test that can diagnose it.(1)

Instead, children are typically diagnosed based on behavior and development. Early signs can be present before 12 months.(6)

It can be reliably diagnosed at age 2, though most children receive a diagnosis after 4.(1)

However, autism can also be diagnosed in the later childhood years. Sometimes, challenges don't arise until children enter school and have difficulty making friends or start showing behavior problems.

Common Co-Morbid Conditions with Autism

Parents should be aware that children with ASD often have other co-occurring conditions.

Children with autism are more likely to have:(7)

·       Neurological conditions, such as epilepsy
·       Sleep disorders
·       Genetic disorders
·       Gastrointestinal disorders
·       Feeding and eating issues
·       Anxiety disorders
·       Mood disorders

For instance, research indicates that anxiety is present in almost 40% of children with autism spectrum disorder.(8)

These co-morbid conditions may happen along with ASD or develop later in life. It's important to be aware of them and get help from a doctor or specialist.

What Treatments Are Available for My Child With ASD?

The good news is that there are a number of different treatment options available for children with ASD. The not-so-good news is, that there is no one-size-fits-all treatment for autism.

It can be tricky to navigate all the possible treatments, supports, and interventions for your child, so here is a breakdown of some of the more common ones:

Applied behavior analysis (ABA): A behavioral intervention intended to support children with ASD in improving their skills by reinforcing positive behaviors.

Mental health support: Seeing a psychologist, or other mental health specialist can help your child, especially if they have co-morbid conditions like anxiety or depression.

School-based and special education services: School-based professionals can assess your child's needs and may provide an Individual Education Plan. Under an IEP, students with ASD receive specialized instruction and services to support their learning.

Social skills support: A type of therapy that helps children with autism develop the social skills they need to interact with peers.

Speech therapy: A Speech-Language Pathologist can help children with speech and communication skills. Many schools directly employ SLPs.

Medication: Prescribed medications may be part of a comprehensive treatment plan, though are typically a last resort when all other options have been exhausted.

How Can I Help My Child with Autism Succeed in School and Life?

If you suspect your child may have autism, the first step is to get an evaluation.

Take time to learn what you can about autism spectrum disorder and the various treatments and interventions available. The more you know, the better you will be able to advocate for your child's needs.

Partnering with your child's teacher will be key to their success in school. And when home, you can help support your child by providing consistent structure and routine.

Encouraging your child's interests and providing opportunities for them to practice social skills with other children their age can also be helpful.

What Can I Do If I'm Struggling as a Parent of a Child With ASD?

Let's face it. Parenting is the toughest job around. You have to pour your heart and soul into it 24/7 with little to no sleep, vacations, or mental breaks. And on top of all that, your kiddo is still upset because you cut their sandwich into four instead of two pieces. No wonder you're struggling!

It’s important to seek out support from other parents, professionals, or autism organizations.

Parent skills training: While sessions with a psychologist can be incredibly helpful, what do you do when the psychologist isn't there? It can be very helpful to gain skills and learn effective ways to respond to challenging behavior.

Support groups: Here you can learn from other parents going through similar challenges. And have a chance to vent, share your wins, and get advice.

Autism-specific parent organizations: These organizations can provide you with information about resources in your area.

Autism education: If your child has recently been diagnosed with autism, educate yourself on the condition. The more you know, the better you’ll understand your child and how to provide more effective support at home. Be sure to listen to my podcast, Genius Little Minds, where I dive deeper into the mind of a child with autism, plus answer questions from parents like you.

Find my latest episode here .

And don’t forget to subscribe to my monthly newsletter to get parenting tips and resources delivered straight to your inbox.

References