World Kindness Day: 11 Activities You Can Do with Your Child to Cultivate Kindness
Kindness is a skill that we have to teach our children. Just like we teach them how to ride a bike or how to do addition, they also need direction on how to be thoughtful to others.
While most children have a strong sense of empathy and compassion, kindness is the process of putting those feelings into action. It’s taking our feelings a step further and doing something nice that will make someone else happy.
The best way that children learn this is through practice. We need to work alongside them to help them think of ways to be kind and then follow through with that plan. If you’re needing some more ideas on how to practice kindness with your child, you’re in the right place!
Kindness is a skill that we have to teach our children. Just like we teach them how to ride a bike or how to do addition, they also need direction on how to be thoughtful to others.
While most children have a strong sense of empathy and compassion, kindness is the process of putting those feelings into action. It’s taking our feelings a step further and doing something nice that will make someone else happy.
The best way that children learn this is through practice. We need to work alongside them to help them think of ways to be kind and then follow through with that plan. If you’re needing some more ideas on how to practice kindness with your child, you’re in the right place!
Why Kindness?
We know that kindness makes others feel good, but did you know that it has positive benefits for the giver too?
Kindness improves a person’s physical and mental health.(1) Teaching children kindness sets them up for wellness throughout their life.
There are six main ways that kindness impacts our bodies, generating oxytocin, increasing energy, elevating happiness, extending the lifespan, producing pleasure, and creating serotonin.(2)
Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the love hormone because it generates feelings of love, happiness, and closeness with those around us. It also lowers blood pressure and improves overall heart health. Being kind produces oxytocin in the body.
I think that we can all agree that we’d like a little more energy to get through our day. Participants in one study reported that acts of kindness made them feel more energetic, stronger, and calmer.(3)
Another study showed that those who gave financially to charitable organizations were happier than those who didn’t.(4) Those who volunteered reported lower incidences of heart disease, aches and pains, and premature death.(3)
Brain scans have shown that not only does the brain of the person on the receiving end of an act of kindness light up, but so does that of the giver.(5) Some have labeled this pleasure the ‘helper’s high.’
Finally, kindness produces serotonin. Serotonin is a hormone in the brain that makes us feel calm and happy. It also aids in the healing of wounds.
Kindness Activities to Do with Your Kids
So, now you know all the amazing benefits of kindness. Are you ready for some ideas on how to implement more acts of kindness into your life and your kids’ lives so that everyone can reap these benefits? Here are 11 great ideas!
Volunteer at an animal shelter - Whether it’s just one afternoon a month or twice a week, your local animal shelter could likely use the help. Call and ask if you can help walk animals or help clean around the facility.
Visit the elderly - Your local nursing home would probably love to have some young, friendly faces coming to visit. There may still be some COVID-19 precautions in place, so if you can’t go in person, have your children make cards to send instead.
Join a family fun run that donates the money raised to charity - Exercise, family fun, and doing good all wrapped into one. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Volunteer at a food bank - The local food pantry may need help gathering donations, organizing the shelves, or distributing the food to community members. Call the director and ask where they most need help.
Write a kind note to a friend or family member - We want to speak encouraging and positive affirmation often to our kids. We also want them to learn how to give compliments to others. Let your children pull names out of a hat to decide which family member they’ll write an encouraging letter to.
Draw a picture for your teacher - Encourage your child to draw or color a personalized picture for their teacher. If they’re a bit older, have them add a short note of encouragement as well.
Host a lemonade stand for a local charity - Let your child pick a local charity that they want to raise money for and set up shop! It doesn’t have to be lemonade that they sell. It could be cookies or artwork or anything else they would like to.
Bake treats for local firefighters, police officers, and other first responders - It’s important to recognize the individuals that give so much to keep the community safe. Bake some tasty treats with your child and then deliver them in person to say thank you to the officers.
Donate outgrown clothing or toys - Work with your child to teach them how some of the toys that they no longer play with could bring a lot of joy to another child. Let them pick what they donate so that they understand the importance of giving to others.
Create a compliment board in your home - In a place that everyone sees every day, hang up a whiteboard or corkboard. Keep markers or small pieces of paper nearby and encourage your children to add small compliments to it whenever they feel like it. This is a great way to keep them actively thinking about being kind.
Read books about kindness - Kindness doesn’t always happen overnight. Some children may need more guidance on how to think of acts of kindness and carry them out. There are many great books out there that can give them ideas.
World Kindness Day is coming up on November 13th. That’s a great chance to implement some kindness practices in your life. If you want more resources for World Kindness Day, check out School of Kindness.
Being kind isn’t always the easy option. We know that as adults and our children think it, too. However, it’s still important to strive to be kind, for our own health and the health of those around us. Together, we are all better.
Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter to stay up to date on all my latest blog posts. My podcast, Genius Little Minds, is also full of information on child mental health.
References
https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/the-science-of-kindness
Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents by Christine Carter Ph.D.
https://www.naturespath.com/en-us/blog/17-activities-kids-practice-kindness-compassion/
https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/kids-kindness-activities
Toddler Development: Your Chatty and Curious 31 to 36 Month-Old
How fast children grow! Your child is already almost three years old. You may be wondering where the time goes.
At this stage, you probably can’t get your toddler to stop asking questions and asserting his independence! And with good reason. There are many things your toddler can do by himself at this age and the wide world fascinates him.
Watch in amazement as your toddler tackles so many tasks all on his own! He can ride a tricycle, put on his shoes, brush his teeth and say his name.
You’ve done such a great job helping him grow. And the learning will only continue. The world delights and surprises him at every turn.
How fast children grow! Your child is already almost three years old. You may be wondering where the time goes.
At this stage, you probably can’t get your toddler to stop asking questions and asserting his independence! And with good reason. There are many things your toddler can do by himself at this age and the wide world fascinates him.
Watch in amazement as your toddler tackles so many tasks all on his own! He can ride a tricycle, put on his shoes, brush his teeth and say his name.
You’ve done such a great job helping him grow. And the learning will only continue. The world delights and surprises him at every turn.
Let’s see what else you can expect from your 31- to 36-month-old and how you can encourage his healthy development.
Toddler Development: Your Toddler from 31 to 36 Months
Vocabulary Development
Your 36-month-old can already say 900 to 1000 words!(1) This probably doesn’t come as too much of a shock—I bet you can’t get your three-year-old to stop talking! You’ve done such a great job facilitating your toddler’s vocabulary development by reading, singing, and talking to them. Give yourself a pat on the back and keep engaging with them as they grow.
At this age, your toddler wants to know how everything works. You’ve probably noticed your toddler asks a ton of questions. Some of them you may not know how to answer! Don’t be afraid to encourage their exploration further. Head to the library to pick up a children’s book on the topic of their choice. Read it together and talk about what you learned.
Potty Training
If your child wasn’t previously ready to use the potty, don’t worry. 18 to 36 months is a big age range to start toilet training. Many children don’t start potty training until they’re on the older end of the spectrum.(2) The “right time” varies widely from child to child. Using the toilet is a skill your child has to learn, just like having to learn to walk, talk, and use a spoon or a cup!(2)
You can tell your child is ready for potty training if they:(2)
Begin to show an interest (e.g. they want to be dry and clean, they want to wear “big kid” underwear, they wonder what happens when you go to the bathroom)
Stay dry for two hours or longer when they’re awake
Wake up with a dry diaper
Are aware when they need to go (e.g. they pee/poop in private or point to their diaper as they’re going)
Show independence by saying they can do it themselves (e.g. feeding, dressing)
Can follow directions and communicate well with you
Are able to sit still
Can run and walk well
Can undress themselves
It can be challenging to know when your toddler is ready to start potty training. But if you keep an eye out for the signs outlined above, you’ll be well on your way. Going to the bathroom independently on the toilet is an exciting skill to develop! Waiting until your child is emotionally and physically ready will put them on a successful path for potty training.
Toddler Development: Milestones from 31 to 36 Months
Social/Emotional Checklist(3)
After you leave your child (e.g. for a childcare drop off) they calm down within 10 minutes of your departure
Notices other children and plays with them
Language/Communication Checklist
Has conversations with you (you take turns speaking in at least two back-and-forth interactions)
Asks questions like, “why?” and “what?” and “where?”
Speaks well enough that others understand what they’re saying most of the time
Names what’s happening in a picture book when prompted (e.g. “Running!”)
When asked, says their name
Movement and Physical Development Checklist
Can use a fork
Dresses him or herself some of the time
Can string items together (e.g. beads)
Cognitive Checklist
Able to draw a circle when shown how
Doesn’t touch hot or dangerous objects when warned (e.g. a hot stove)
What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 31- to 36-Month-Old
Encourage Free Play
Having the freedom to express creativity through play is very important for your child’s development. Allow your child to follow his or her interests on a regular basis when they’re playing.(3) Research shows that free play, whether with friends or alone, improves children’s social skills, teaches them to be more resilient, and reduces anxiety.(7) When engaging in free play, your child should be allowed to choose where they play (within reason), what they play with (as long as it’s safe), and what kinds of subjects they explore.(4) Because every child is unique, self-expression will come out in free play in varied ways.(4) Some children will choose to color. Others will play with Legos. The sky’s the limit with free play! Free play also encourages problem-solving skills in addition to boosting creativity.(4)
Teach Empathy
Give your child a chance to practice recognizing how other people feel. Show them pictures of children expressing a variety of emotions.(7) This will help them learn to identify fear, anger, sadness, frustration, joy, etc. in others. Teach your child about these emotions and give them the language to label them. Walk your child through what they can do if they see another child expressing those emotions. For example, if another child looks sad, you might ask, “Why do you think he feels sad? What could you do to help her feel better?” Teaching empathy takes time and lots of practice. But it is so worth it.
Name Their Feelings
Often children throw tantrums because they don’t feel heard, seen, understood, or listened to. If your child starts to cry because they can’t get their sweater on, resist the urge to say, “Stop crying.” Instead, name what they’re likely feeling. “You’re feeling frustrated because your arm won’t go into your sweater! Getting dressed can be hard sometimes. Would you like help?” By validating your child’s feelings, they’ll feel understood. You’re also giving them a valuable lesson in recognizing how they feel. Over time, they’ll be able to identify how they’re feeling and where those feelings arise in their body.
Continue to Set Clear Boundaries
Communicate limits to your child consistently so your expectations are clear. But do this in your normal voice! Being firm and clear does not mean having to yell. When possible, give clear and firm warnings, such as, “In five minutes it will be time to leave the park and go home for dinner.” If your toddler tests that limit, explain what the consequence will be and stick to it. “If you don’t get off the slide right now, you won’t be allowed to play with your musical book later.”
Every Stage Comes With Joys and Challenges
Each step of the way, you have the opportunity to help your child learn and grow. Subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful parenting tips, and don’t miss the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series!
References
https://edn.ne.gov/cms/developmental-milestones-31-through-36-months
https://www.verywellfamily.com/signs-your-toddler-is-ready-to-potty-train-290259
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-3yr.html
https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/what-is-free-play
https://www.theparentline.org/infant-toddler-development/31-36-months/
http://thedanishway.com/do-you-know-why-free-play-is-important-for-your-children/
Alexander, J. J., & Sandahl, I. (2016, August 9). The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids (1st ed.). TarcherPerigee.
How to Help a Child Who Is Struggling to Make Friends: 8 Tips and Tricks
Most of us reflect fondly on some of the friends that we had in our childhood. Whether it was a friend that lived just down the block that we biked to see every day or a friend we made at summer camp and have kept in touch with ever since. Friendships can be one of the sweetest parts of childhood.
Today, however, we are seeing more and more children struggle to establish and maintain healthy friendships. The pandemic and lockdowns drastically changed children’s social lives. For months on end, most children only interacted with their siblings or even no children at all.
Now, as many children have transitioned back to in-person learning and full daycare and preschool, they may have social skills to catch up on.
So, how do we help bridge this gap? Let’s dig into it.
Most of us reflect fondly on some of the friends that we had in our childhood. Whether it was a friend that lived just down the block that we biked to see every day or a friend we made at summer camp and have kept in touch with ever since. Friendships can be one of the sweetest parts of childhood.
Today, however, we are seeing more and more children struggle to establish and maintain healthy friendships. The pandemic and lockdowns drastically changed children’s social lives. For months on end, most children only interacted with their siblings or even no children at all.
Now, as many children have transitioned back to in-person learning and full daycare and preschool, they may have social skills to catch up on.
So, how do we help bridge this gap? Let’s dig into it.
Friendships Are Essential to Healthy Development
You know that a good friendship is good for the soul. You likely have people in your life who you don't know how you would live without.
It can be easy to forget that our children are really just little adults with all those same social and emotional needs. They long for connection and relationships with others just like we do.
Additionally, friendship has so many other benefits. Here are just a few:
Lower stress levels(1)
Providing a sense of belonging
Higher self-esteem
Encouraging good behavior
Good friendships can also help children develop social and emotional skills. Through conversations and interactions with their peers, they learn the rules of conversation.(2) They are also exposed to others’ viewpoints, learning how to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Being around their peers also shows them what type of behavior is appropriate for their age and situation.
Studies have shown that children with high-quality friendships are more likely to perform well at school. This likely relates to friends helping a child feel comfortable, valued, and welcome in their classroom. Reliable friendships can also make big transitions, like from one grade to the next, easier.
The need for friendship and the benefits experienced by it are equal for boys and girls. We need to remember that boys need quality relationships and connections just as much as girls do.
On the flip side, there are significant challenges that come with not having good friends. More than 50% of children who have been referred for emotional-behavioral problems report having no friends.(4)
Trouble making friendships and keeping healthy relationships often carries into adulthood.(3) These social skills are ones that we need to be teaching our children early on so that they are set up for success.
Why Friendship in Childhood Can Be Difficult
Children lack the practice that adults have in interpersonal skills. They don’t always know how to read social cues and how to act in certain situations.(5)
Some children are a bit more shy and anxious and struggle to start friendships because of this. Other children haven’t yet learned good empathy skills and find it difficult to think about others and their feelings.
If your child is struggling to make friends, it could be for a variety of reasons. Sitting down and having a conversation with them is a great place to start. You can try to understand what they are feeling and experiencing. Then together, form a strategy to build and maintain friendships.
Maybe you need a few pointers to get you started. Here are some of my best tips for helping your child make friends.
8 Tips for Helping Your Child Make Friends
Model what good friendship looks like. Let them watch you make conversation with other adults and children. Tell them when you are reaching out to check on your friend or sending them a gift to brighten their day. Involve them in activities that you do with your friends.
Encourage friendships that are good for your child. You may be thinking, ‘I don’t even know who my child could be friends with.’ If so, this is the first place to start. Talk with your child to identify who they might like to be friends with. You could enlist the help of their teacher or another adult in their life to identify good friends. Then, put in the effort to schedule play dates and fun activities with that child. If you can’t find any particular friends that your child may enjoy, consider enrolling them in group activities, like ballet or football.
Recognize their personality and adjust to it. Every child is unique, just like every adult is unique. Some are introverted while others are extroverted. Some enjoy being in crowds and attending big events while others don’t. Recognize that your child (and their friends) may have a different idea of quality time together than you do. Adjust your activities and plans accordingly.
Role play with your child. Practice what they should say and do in certain situations. Let them practice introducing themselves and asking if the other child would like to play with them. Make conversation with them and guide it in a direction that it would typically go between two children, such as talking about their favorite toy or kind of ice cream.
Reinforce and praise them when they interact well with their peers. Especially in the first few years, you will likely be around for every one of your child’s social interactions. When you see them being kind, sharing, taking turns, and making conversation, praise them. Let them know that they are doing a great job.
Discuss and identify your child’s emotions. Help your child figure out what they are feeling and name it. Many childhood friendships suffer because of a lack of emotional awareness and emotional regulation. Giving your child the tools to manage their emotions will help them avoid this.
Help your child put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Empathy and compassion are essential to making relationships work. Children aren’t born with the ability to see things from another person’s perspective. We need to guide them and help them identify what other children are feeling and how to handle those feelings.
Demonstrate how to say sorry and make amends. Nobody is perfect. Sometimes your child is going to hurt someone else and sometimes your child is going to be the one that’s hurt. We need to demonstrate to our children not only how to apologize and ask forgiveness, but also how to forgive and set healthy boundaries.
Friendships can feel difficult and time-consuming to maintain at times. However, every human needs connection with other humans; it’s how we’re wired.
Before your children are fully independent in their social skills, they may need your help with this. That is totally normal and okay. Give them the tools and information they need and get ready to watch them succeed.
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References