Madeleine Vieira 10/17/22 Madeleine Vieira 10/17/22

Early Childhood: Your Creative and Playful 3 Year Old

Three-year-olds are such curious, playful, imaginative individuals!

Seeing your child grow right before your very eyes is wonderful and exciting. And watching them interact with you and others is such a gift.

Conversations have started to feel more interesting as your preschooler can say longer sentences and have more back-and-forth interaction with you. They also continue to come into their own, engaging in problem-solving and imaginative play.

Three-year-olds are such curious, playful, imaginative individuals!

Seeing your child grow right before your very eyes is wonderful and exciting. And watching them interact with you and others is such a gift.

Early Childhood Development: Your Young Preschooler at 3 Years Old

Vocabulary Development

Speech is yet another thing that children develop at their own pace. But a child between the ages of 3 and 4 will typically be able to say between 500 and 900 words!(2) By now, they’ll be able to talk in longer sentences of roughly 4 to 5 words, leading to real conversations with you.(4)

In preschool, your 3-year-old will be building reading and vocabulary skills. They’ll learn simple rhymes, poems, or songs and name colors and objects in their classroom.(3) They’ll also build fine motor skills as they create arts and craft projects and practice writing letters and their name.(3)

Your 3-year-old will also begin to understand the size differences between “little” and “big,” understand long sentences, and even know prepositions such as “on,” “under,” and behind!(2) Discuss what they did yesterday versus what they are doing today to encourage their grasp on the past tense.

Growing Imagination

As your child’s imagination is growing and expanding, they’ll go on many wonderful adventures! They might sail the high seas in a cardboard box, or traverse a jungle across your kitchen. And while your preschooler’s growing imagination brings many wonderful moments of joy and play, it can also spark some fears.

Don’t be alarmed if your child also begins to display a fear of the dark or monsters under the bed as their imagination expands.(10) Because your child has likely seen television, movies, and been in the care of others by this age, their imagination will take flight sometimes. This can activate anxiety or fear. The best thing to do is acknowledge your child’s very real fear, but reassure them that the monsters are not real.

Early Childhood Development: 3-Year-Old Milestones

Social/Emotional Checklist(1)

Quickly calms (within 10 minutes) after you leave (such as for preschool drop-off)
Is interested in playing with other children
With support, can problem solve
Displays affection and concern for others without being prompted(7)
Copies others (e.g., runs when friends or other children run)(7)
Displays a wide range of feelings(7)
Enjoys routines (and may get upset with a major change in routine)(7)

Language/Communication Checklist(1)

Asks questions such as, “who,” “what,” “where,” “why,” and “how”
Can name the action they see in a picture when asked (such as “sleeping”)
Can say their first name when asked
Is able to have short conversations with you (at least two back-and-forth exchanges)
Speaks well enough that other people understand them (most of the time)
After you read a book to them, they can retell the story(4)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(2)

Can run, jump, and walk up stairs without help
Can ride a tricycle
Is able to wash and dry their hands
Is able to use a fork and spoon well(1)
Can dress himself or herself(1)
Can string items together (like macaroni)(1)
Able to hold a pencil, marker or crayon to color and draw(4)

Cognitive Checklist(1)

Can draw a circle when shown how
Doesn’t touch a hot stove when warned not to
Uses imagination to play and create stories(7)
May be afraid of monsters under the bed or the dark(9)

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 3-Year-Old

Encourage Problem Solving

Offer support, but don’t solve every problem for your child. Instead, encourage problem-solving and a can-do attitude. Ask questions to help your 3-year-old not only comprehend the problem or situation they’re facing, but also to help them think of solutions to try.(1)

For example, if you have a little extra time on a grocery run with your child, use the opportunity to engage in problem solving.(5) Try saying something like, “To bake cookies we need to buy butter, sugar, and flour. We have butter and flour in the cart. What are we missing?”

Model Problem Solving

You have the opportunity to be a wonderful role model for your child. Show them how you problem solve to encourage them to do it in their own lives as they grow up.

For example, perhaps you accidentally knock over a glass of milk, and it spills onto the floor. Do your best to remain calm. Take a deep breath. If your child is nearby, you could say something like, “Oops! I spilled some milk. How should I clean it up?”(5)

Don’t expect yourself to be perfect. Accidents happen. Some teachable moments will be missed opportunities. But try to give yourself the space (at least some of the time) to make and acknowledge your mistakes out loud to model problem solving in action.(5)

Ask Your Child Open-Ended Questions

Asking open-ended questions is a wonderful way to stimulate your child’s creativity, stretch their reasoning abilities, and foster independence and curiosity.(6) Questions that have a one word answer, such as, “What animal is that?” certainly have their place in your child’s development. But make space for more open-ended questions too, like, “Can you tell me about your stuffed animal?”(6)

Open-ended questions may be met with a pause as your child mulls things over. Be patient and give them time to respond. You might just be delighted by what they tell you!

Here are some other examples of open-ended questions you can ask:(6)

Can you tell me about what you saw?
What did you see happening at the park/zoo/grocery store/mall?
Do you have any other ideas?
Can you help me think of a new way to do this?
What happened at the beginning of the story? What about the middle or end?

Create Space for Imaginative Play

Imaginative play is such a beautiful part of childhood. When your preschooler is playing pretend, creating stories about made up characters, turning everyday objects into parts of their magical world, or imagining themselves as an astronaut or a wizard, anything feels possible. And the freedom that comes with imaginative play allows them to explore emotions, develop empathy, learn negotiation and problem-solving skills, and develop their language and abstract thinking capabilities.(8)

If space allows, offer a place for a small stash of props or safe objects your child can play with such as empty boxes, clothes, stuffed animals, household utensils or plastic tools, markers, construction paper and tape. Then step back and watch your child’s imagination come to life.

Every Stage Comes With Joys and Challenges

Each step of the way, you have the opportunity to help your child learn and grow. Subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful parenting tips, and don’t miss the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series!

References

Madeleine Vieira 9/19/22 Madeleine Vieira 9/19/22

Toddler Development: Your Chatty and Curious 31 to 36 Month-Old

How fast children grow! Your child is already almost three years old. You may be wondering where the time goes.

At this stage, you probably can’t get your toddler to stop asking questions and asserting his independence! And with good reason. There are many things your toddler can do by himself at this age and the wide world fascinates him.

Watch in amazement as your toddler tackles so many tasks all on his own! He can ride a tricycle, put on his shoes, brush his teeth and say his name.

You’ve done such a great job helping him grow. And the learning will only continue. The world delights and surprises him at every turn.

How fast children grow! Your child is already almost three years old. You may be wondering where the time goes.

Watch in amazement as your toddler tackles so many tasks all on his own! He can ride a tricycle, put on his shoes, brush his teeth and say his name.

You’ve done such a great job helping him grow. And the learning will only continue. The world delights and surprises him at every turn.

Let’s see what else you can expect from your 31- to 36-month-old and how you can encourage his healthy development.

Toddler Development: Your Toddler from 31 to 36 Months

Vocabulary Development

Your 36-month-old can already say 900 to 1000 words!(1) This probably doesn’t come as too much of a shock—I bet you can’t get your three-year-old to stop talking! You’ve done such a great job facilitating your toddler’s vocabulary development by reading, singing, and talking to them. Give yourself a pat on the back and keep engaging with them as they grow.

At this age, your toddler wants to know how everything works. You’ve probably noticed your toddler asks a ton of questions. Some of them you may not know how to answer! Don’t be afraid to encourage their exploration further. Head to the library to pick up a children’s book on the topic of their choice. Read it together and talk about what you learned.

Potty Training

If your child wasn’t previously ready to use the potty, don’t worry. 18 to 36 months is a big age range to start toilet training. Many children don’t start potty training until they’re on the older end of the spectrum.(2) The “right time” varies widely from child to child. Using the toilet is a skill your child has to learn, just like having to learn to walk, talk, and use a spoon or a cup!(2)

You can tell your child is ready for potty training if they:(2)

Begin to show an interest (e.g. they want to be dry and clean, they want to wear “big kid” underwear, they wonder what happens when you go to the bathroom)
Stay dry for two hours or longer when they’re awake
Wake up with a dry diaper
Are aware when they need to go (e.g. they pee/poop in private or point to their diaper as they’re going)
Show independence by saying they can do it themselves (e.g. feeding, dressing)
Can follow directions and communicate well with you
Are able to sit still
Can run and walk well
Can undress themselves

It can be challenging to know when your toddler is ready to start potty training. But if you keep an eye out for the signs outlined above, you’ll be well on your way. Going to the bathroom independently on the toilet is an exciting skill to develop! Waiting until your child is emotionally and physically ready will put them on a successful path for potty training.

Toddler Development: Milestones from 31 to 36 Months

Social/Emotional Checklist(3)

After you leave your child (e.g. for a childcare drop off) they calm down within 10 minutes of your departure
Notices other children and plays with them

Language/Communication Checklist

Has conversations with you (you take turns speaking in at least two back-and-forth interactions)
Asks questions like, “why?” and “what?” and “where?”
Speaks well enough that others understand what they’re saying most of the time
Names what’s happening in a picture book when prompted (e.g. “Running!”)
When asked, says their name

Movement and Physical Development Checklist

Can use a fork
Dresses him or herself some of the time
Can string items together (e.g. beads)

Cognitive Checklist

Able to draw a circle when shown how
Doesn’t touch hot or dangerous objects when warned (e.g. a hot stove)

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 31- to 36-Month-Old

Encourage Free Play

Having the freedom to express creativity through play is very important for your child’s development. Allow your child to follow his or her interests on a regular basis when they’re playing.(3) Research shows that free play, whether with friends or alone, improves children’s social skills, teaches them to be more resilient, and reduces anxiety.(7) When engaging in free play, your child should be allowed to choose where they play (within reason), what they play with (as long as it’s safe), and what kinds of subjects they explore.(4) Because every child is unique, self-expression will come out in free play in varied ways.(4) Some children will choose to color. Others will play with Legos. The sky’s the limit with free play! Free play also encourages problem-solving skills in addition to boosting creativity.(4)

Teach Empathy

Give your child a chance to practice recognizing how other people feel. Show them pictures of children expressing a variety of emotions.(7) This will help them learn to identify fear, anger, sadness, frustration, joy, etc. in others. Teach your child about these emotions and give them the language to label them. Walk your child through what they can do if they see another child expressing those emotions. For example, if another child looks sad, you might ask, “Why do you think he feels sad? What could you do to help her feel better?” Teaching empathy takes time and lots of practice. But it is so worth it.

Name Their Feelings

Often children throw tantrums because they don’t feel heard, seen, understood, or listened to. If your child starts to cry because they can’t get their sweater on, resist the urge to say, “Stop crying.” Instead, name what they’re likely feeling. “You’re feeling frustrated because your arm won’t go into your sweater! Getting dressed can be hard sometimes. Would you like help?” By validating your child’s feelings, they’ll feel understood. You’re also giving them a valuable lesson in recognizing how they feel. Over time, they’ll be able to identify how they’re feeling and where those feelings arise in their body.

Continue to Set Clear Boundaries

Communicate limits to your child consistently so your expectations are clear. But do this in your normal voice! Being firm and clear does not mean having to yell. When possible, give clear and firm warnings, such as, “In five minutes it will be time to leave the park and go home for dinner.” If your toddler tests that limit, explain what the consequence will be and stick to it. “If you don’t get off the slide right now, you won’t be allowed to play with your musical book later.”

Every Stage Comes With Joys and Challenges

References

https://edn.ne.gov/cms/developmental-milestones-31-through-36-months
https://www.verywellfamily.com/signs-your-toddler-is-ready-to-potty-train-290259
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-3yr.html
https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/what-is-free-play
https://www.thebump.com/toddler-month-by-month/36-month-old
https://www.theparentline.org/infant-toddler-development/31-36-months/
http://thedanishway.com/do-you-know-why-free-play-is-important-for-your-children/
Alexander, J. J., & Sandahl, I. (2016, August 9). The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids (1st ed.). TarcherPerigee.

Madeleine Vieira 8/16/22 Madeleine Vieira 8/16/22

Toddler Development: Your Stubborn and Capable 25 to 30 Month Old

Toddlers have a reputation for being stubborn, independent, defiant and frustrating—in addition to being to being painfully cute, of course. And for good reason! At this age, your child is going through tremendous cognitive growth. They’re realizing they’re an individual who can make an impact on their environment—and all that curiosity can lead to magical discoveries. (As well as a little mischief!)

Your 25-month-old will start to play pretend, stand on their tiptoes, blow you a kiss, and find new ways to surprise you each and every day!

Toddler reading a book to her stuffed bear in a field

Your 25-month-old will start to play pretend, stand on their tiptoes, blow you a kiss, and find new ways to surprise you each and every day!

Toddler Development: Your Toddler From 25 to 30 months

Vocabulary Development

Your 25-month-old can probably say simple phrases and two- to four-word sentences, and they may know as many as 100 words already!(1) Pay close attention to what you’re saying because at this age, your toddler is bound to repeat everything they hear.(1)

Your toddler can probably name up to five different objects like a ball or a car and name familiar pictures, (2) making reading time together even more fun. They can also follow short directions(2) like, “Give me the cup.”(3)

Continue to read to your toddler and have conversations with them throughout the day to encourage their vocabulary development.

Potty Training

Some children are ready to begin potty training around this age.(1) But you don’t want to rush it—potty training is a major milestone. Certain physical, developmental and behavioral milestones need to be reached before it’s possible for your toddler, and some children don’t learn until they’re closer to three.(6) If you try to potty train your child too early, it may end up taking even longer!(6)

Teething and Brushing

Your toddler’s two-year molars may be coming in sometime between 20 and 33 months.(1) They’re big ones—so this can be painful. Luckily, they’re the last teeth to come in until your child is around six years old.(1)

It can be hard to get a toddler to brush their teeth—but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying! It’s so important to establish good oral hygiene habits when your child is young.

Try some of these tips to make teeth brushing more fun for your toddler!(7)

Let your child pretend brush her favorite doll, stuffed animal, or action figure’s teeth while you brush her teeth.
Brush your toddler’s teeth and then let her take a turn brushing her own teeth (or vice versa).
Play a favorite song and let your child know when the song is over, it’s time to rinse.
Let your toddler pick out her own toothbrush

Toddler Development: Milestones From 25 to 30 Months

Social/Emotional Checklist(4)

Follows simple routines when instructed
Says “look!” to show you something he can do
Engages in parallel play

Language/Communication Checklist

Can say about 50 words(4)
Can say words like, “me,” “we,” and “I”(4)
Uses action words in short, two-word phrases like “Kitty jump”(4)
Can name known objects in a book when you point and ask what it is(4)
Begins to speak clearly(5)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(4)

Can twist or turn things with their hands
Jumps up off the ground with two feet
Removes some clothing by himself
Turns book pages
Can throw a ball(5)
Can build a six-block tower(5)

Cognitive Checklist(4)

Plays pretend like “feeding” a doll a block as though it was food
Follows simple instructions
Shows simple problem-solving abilities
Knows at least one color and can point to it when you ask

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 25- to 30-Month-Old

Allow Them to Make Small Choices

Support your toddler’s assertion of their independence by allowing them to make small choices throughout the day.(1) Let your toddler select their own outfits, for example—even if it takes them twice as long to get dressed. Letting your toddler work through the awkward stages of developing a skill is so important. Instead of stepping in to speed up the process, let them fumble—it’s good practice and helps them learn.(8)

Continue to Set Limits

While it’s important to support your toddler’s exploration of independence, it’s still important to set limits so they know you’re the boss. Your toddler may insist on jumping on the couch or doing other unsafe activities in their desire to explore. Continue to set consistent limits that keep them safe.(1)

Take a Time-In

It’s pretty normal for toddlers to bite or hit when they’re frustrated. (I talk about this at length on my upcoming episode this month on toddler behavior of Genius Little Minds if you want to learn more.) Try taking a “time-in” when your child is overwhelmed and having a meltdown. It’s an opportunity for you to co-regulate (as opposed to a time-out where a child sits alone.)(9) To take a time-in, sit with your child somewhere quiet if possible, and offer comfort and reassurance that you understand their big emotions. Give language to their feelings. Take some deep breaths together.

Example: “You’re frustrated because you aren’t allowed to have cake today. I get frustrated sometimes, too. Instead of screaming when we are frustrated, let’s try taking a deep breath and counting to 5.”(9)

Once they’ve calmed down, talk about what could have been done differently.

Example: “Did you scream at mommy because you wanted cake? What could you have done instead?”(10)

Transition Slowly

Transitions can be tough. Even for adults! So transitioning from playing at the park to going home can be especially hard for your toddler. Give plenty of verbal warnings like, “In twenty minutes it will be time to leave the park and go home to make dinner.” Repeat yourself a few times—giving these types of warnings in 10 minutes and again in 5 minutes.

Every Stage Comes with Joys and Challenges

References

Madeleine Vieira 5/1/22 Madeleine Vieira 5/1/22

Autism Spectrum Disorder: What Parents Need to Know

Did you know that 1 in 44 children are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder?(1)

If you have a child who is currently or has recently been diagnosed with autism, you may be feeling overwhelmed and confused.

You may be wondering what this diagnosis means for your child's future.

What treatment options are available? What can you do to help your child?

Here's what parents need to know about autism spectrum disorder in children.

Did you know that 1 in 44 children are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder?(1)

If you have a child who is currently or has recently been diagnosed with autism, you may be feeling overwhelmed and confused.

You may be wondering what this diagnosis means for your child's future.

What treatment options are available? What can you do to help your child?

Here's what parents need to know about autism spectrum disorder in children.

What is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)?

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurological condition that affects social skills, communication, and behavior.

It's lifelong and can range from mild to severe—with widely varying symptoms.

What Causes Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Diagnoses of ASD are on the rise. What remains unclear is whether we're learning more about autism and are therefore diagnosing more children, if there truly is an increase in autism cases, or a combination of both.(2)

Autism spectrum disorder seems to be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental risk factors.

Research shows an association between genes and autism, and many of the genes seem to be involved in brain development. It's estimated that genetic factors may contribute to 40-80% of the risk of developing ASD.(3)

While autism is present across all cultures, races, and ethnicities, some groups are more likely to be diagnosed than others.

For example, boys are four times more likely to be diagnosed with ASD than girls.(4)

It also tends to run in families. If a parent or sibling has ASD, it increases the likelihood that the child will have ASD.(5)

What Are the Signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder in Children?

While the symptoms and severity of ASD can vary greatly, there are some commonalities.

The two main categories of autism characteristics include:

· Challenges with social skills and communication
· Restricted and repetitive behaviors

Social and Communication Difficulties

Persistent difficulties with communication and social interaction are hallmarks of autism.

These can manifest in several ways, such as:

·       Delayed speech and language skills
·       Eye contact avoidance
·       Repetitive or unusual use of language
·       Poor understanding of social cues
·       Challenges understanding others' emotions
·       Difficulties expressing their own emotions

Restricted and Repetitive Behaviors

Children with ASD may display restricted and repetitive behaviors.

This may include:

·       Stereotypical body movements, like hand flapping or spinning
·       Obsessive interests in certain topics
·       Repetitive use of language or phrases
·       Inflexible thinking or behaviors
·       Need for routine
·       Difficulty with new experiences
·       Sensory sensitivities

Is your child's favorite food the brand-name organic white cheddar crackers that come in the purple packaging? (You learned your lesson when you tried to switch to the store brand and the meltdown ensued.)

Children with autism often have very specific interests and may become fixated on certain objects or routines.

They may also have sensory sensitivities, such as an aversion to loud noises.

The world to the child with autism can seem like a confusing and unpredictable place. Routine can provide a sense of security.

How Is Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosed?

There is no medical detection for autism and no single test that can diagnose it.(1)

Instead, children are typically diagnosed based on behavior and development. Early signs can be present before 12 months.(6)

It can be reliably diagnosed at age 2, though most children receive a diagnosis after 4.(1)

However, autism can also be diagnosed in the later childhood years. Sometimes, challenges don't arise until children enter school and have difficulty making friends or start showing behavior problems.

Common Co-Morbid Conditions with Autism

Parents should be aware that children with ASD often have other co-occurring conditions.

Children with autism are more likely to have:(7)

·       Neurological conditions, such as epilepsy
·       Sleep disorders
·       Genetic disorders
·       Gastrointestinal disorders
·       Feeding and eating issues
·       Anxiety disorders
·       Mood disorders

For instance, research indicates that anxiety is present in almost 40% of children with autism spectrum disorder.(8)

These co-morbid conditions may happen along with ASD or develop later in life. It's important to be aware of them and get help from a doctor or specialist.

What Treatments Are Available for My Child With ASD?

The good news is that there are a number of different treatment options available for children with ASD. The not-so-good news is, that there is no one-size-fits-all treatment for autism.

It can be tricky to navigate all the possible treatments, supports, and interventions for your child, so here is a breakdown of some of the more common ones:

Applied behavior analysis (ABA): A behavioral intervention intended to support children with ASD in improving their skills by reinforcing positive behaviors.

Mental health support: Seeing a psychologist, or other mental health specialist can help your child, especially if they have co-morbid conditions like anxiety or depression.

School-based and special education services: School-based professionals can assess your child's needs and may provide an Individual Education Plan. Under an IEP, students with ASD receive specialized instruction and services to support their learning.

Social skills support: A type of therapy that helps children with autism develop the social skills they need to interact with peers.

Speech therapy: A Speech-Language Pathologist can help children with speech and communication skills. Many schools directly employ SLPs.

Medication: Prescribed medications may be part of a comprehensive treatment plan, though are typically a last resort when all other options have been exhausted.

How Can I Help My Child with Autism Succeed in School and Life?

If you suspect your child may have autism, the first step is to get an evaluation.

Take time to learn what you can about autism spectrum disorder and the various treatments and interventions available. The more you know, the better you will be able to advocate for your child's needs.

Partnering with your child's teacher will be key to their success in school. And when home, you can help support your child by providing consistent structure and routine.

Encouraging your child's interests and providing opportunities for them to practice social skills with other children their age can also be helpful.

What Can I Do If I'm Struggling as a Parent of a Child With ASD?

Let's face it. Parenting is the toughest job around. You have to pour your heart and soul into it 24/7 with little to no sleep, vacations, or mental breaks. And on top of all that, your kiddo is still upset because you cut their sandwich into four instead of two pieces. No wonder you're struggling!

It’s important to seek out support from other parents, professionals, or autism organizations.

Parent skills training: While sessions with a psychologist can be incredibly helpful, what do you do when the psychologist isn't there? It can be very helpful to gain skills and learn effective ways to respond to challenging behavior.

Support groups: Here you can learn from other parents going through similar challenges. And have a chance to vent, share your wins, and get advice.

Autism-specific parent organizations: These organizations can provide you with information about resources in your area.

Autism education: If your child has recently been diagnosed with autism, educate yourself on the condition. The more you know, the better you’ll understand your child and how to provide more effective support at home. Be sure to listen to my podcast, Genius Little Minds, where I dive deeper into the mind of a child with autism, plus answer questions from parents like you.

Find my latest episode here .

And don’t forget to subscribe to my monthly newsletter to get parenting tips and resources delivered straight to your inbox.

References