Stages of Play: Funny Things Toddlers Do That Are Actually Play Schemas

Have you ever wondered about the funny things toddlers do?

Maybe you’ve chuckled because your toddler carries rocks around in her purse or insists on playing with a potato instead of other children.

What looks like plain old silliness to you is actually the exploration of play schemas!

Play is how your child learns.(1) And it’s so important for healthy brain development that it’s actually been recognized as a basic human right all children should have access to by the United Nations Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights (2)

That’s right – play has been deemed a right that all children should have access to in addition to rest, leisure, and love.(2)

Parten’s 6 Stages of Play

Children actually progress through 6 stages of play development during early childhood.(3)
These 6 stages are defined as follows:

1.    Unoccupied Play (0-3 months)

This is when your baby learns how their body moves and explores the things around them.(3)

2.    Solitary Play (0 – 2 years)

In solitary play, your child entertains himself by playing alone. He’s not interested in playing with others just yet.

3.    Onlooker or Spectator Play (2 years)

If your toddler is content to just watch other children play at the park, she’s engaging in onlooker play.

4.    Parallel Play (2+ years)

This is when children play beside each other but aren’t yet playing with each other.

5.    Associative Play (3-4 years)

Your child is (finally!) showing an interest in playing with peers, indicating a significant shift in their development.

6.    Cooperative Play (4+ years)

Cooperative play involves playing with others and working toward a common objective or purpose, like building a snowman or finishing a puzzle together.(5)

Each play stage has different benefits. Listen to this podcast episode for more information!

Toddlers and Sharing

Sharing is a big concern parents have. No one wants to raise the most selfish kid on the playground! But sharing is a skill that must be learned. Most children don’t develop this skill until they are 3 and a half or four years old.(6) So please don’t expect your young toddler to know how to share!

You can teach your older toddler to share by modeling it. Play cooperative games together and do things together that require taking turns.(7) Walk your toddler through the steps by saying things like, “It’s your turn to place a block on the tower, then it’s my turn to place a block. Then it’s your turn again! When we share the blocks, we both get to have fun.”

Practice, practice, practice, and don’t forget to be patient – with both yourself and your kiddo.

Types of Schemas in Play

Your toddler probably engages in some pretty funny, frustrating, and undesirable behaviors. When they do things that drive you mad – like repeatedly throwing food off of their high chair, for example -- you may think they’re just misbehaving or being “bad” when really, they’re exploring a play schema.


Trajectory

When you’re trying to serve your family dinner, it can be hard to share your toddler’s enthusiasm for throwing food all over the floor. Understandably so! But your toddler is curious about how things fall, wondering if their pasta will bounce, smash, or splatter when it drops. So what seems like a misbehavior on the surface is actually them engaging in what’s called the trajectory schema. They’re learning all about how objects fall and move.

Try This: Toss colorful scarves up in the air

Connecting

Does your toddler love Lincoln Logs or laying train tracks? In the connecting schema, your child is learning all about how things tie together or connect.

Try This: Make paper chains

Transporting

If your toddler is constantly carrying odd things around the house… a bag of rice, dirty socks, a potato… (I’ve heard it all!) they’re exploring the transportation schema.

Try This: Have them help by carrying (light and unbreakable!) groceries into the house
 

Positioning

In the positioning schema, your child is learning how to line things up and put them in groups. If your child is arranging his toy cars by color and size, he’s exploring this schema.

Try This: Line up leaves you find at the park
 

Enveloping

Children explore the enveloping schema by wrapping things – or themselves – up! So if your child enjoys wrapping toys up in blankets or covering himself in cream, you know what schema he’s exploring through play.

Try This: Wrap up a doll or teddy bear in bandages while playing doctor
 

Enclosing

This schema is all about creating boundaries and containing things within a defined space. If your child enjoys playing inside boxes or filling cups with water during bath time, they’re likely exploring this schema.

Try This: Color inside a shoebox or cardboard box
 

Rotation

If your child is obsessed with rolling around on the floor or being swung around, then they’ve discovered the rotation schema.   

Try This: Turn keys in locks
 

Orientation

The world is so fascinating from different angles! Your toddler may want to sit on your shoulders, stand on a chair, or look at the world upside down when exploring this schema.

Try This: Toddler gymnastics
 

Transforming

If your toddler is fascinated by smashing Play Doh or watching ice melt, then the transforming schema has captured your toddler’s attention! They’re exploring how materials change, like going from a solid to a liquid and back to a solid again. Enjoy their curiosity while it lasts!

Try This: Add food coloring to water

 

Messy Play for Toddlers

It’s important for toddlers to explore with their senses! Research shows that motor and visual skills in early childhood are related to math and language skills as a child grows up.(7) So simple activities that build fine and gross motor skills are important.

Create a defined messy play area for your toddler so they know what’s okay and what isn’t. For example, you set out a tarp with supplies to signal the beginning of messy play. When it’s time for the tarp and supplies to be put away, messy play ends.(7) An organized environment makes messy play safer and sets up appropriate expectations for your toddler.

You may be thinking, “My child hates getting dirty! Messy play sounds like an absolute nightmare!” Some children are more sensitive to sensory input than others and don’t enjoy messy play.(7) And that’s OK! Every toddler is different and has different tolerance levels. Support your children in their exploration. Don’t force sensory play with textures they don’t enjoy.

Your toddler may prefer messy play that doesn’t make their hands wet, for example, so playing with loose papers or other textured materials that aren’t sticky will be more enjoyable for them.(7) Even walking barefoot in the grass or playing in a sandbox can be a wonderful sensory experience! It doesn’t have to be complicated to be impactful.

Try This: Make a dry sensory box with felt, feathers, grass, pom poms, or any other safe materials that interest your child.

Don’t Forget to Have Fun!

Remember, your little one won’t be little forever. Cherish these memories. Slow down your day. Marvel with your toddler at all the amazing, beautiful things life has to offer. 

Interested in Learning More?

Check out this podcast episode for more information on toddler play! Learn more in-depth information about the stages of play and the seemingly odd ways your toddler may be exploring play schemas. Get even more ideas for sensory play that doesn’t involve food (to reduce food waste), and what to do if your toddler refuses to play outside — or with other kids.

Equip yourself with knowledge and tools to help your child thrive. And be sure to subscribe to the Genius Little Minds podcast so you never miss an episode!

References

1. https://educate.bankstreet.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1006&context=faculty-staff

2. https://www.ohchr.org/en/instruments-mechanisms/instruments/convention-rights-child

3. https://pathways.org/kids-learn-play-6-stages-play-development/

4. https://www.webmd.com/parenting/what-is-associative-play

5. https://www.healthline.com/health/childrens-health/cooperative-play

6. https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/1964-helping-young-children-with-sharing

7. https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/publication/designing-messy-play-infants-toddlers

Toddler Development: They're Getting into Everything! Your Curious 16 to 18 Month Old

Toddler Development: Your Toddler From 16 to 18 Months

Your little one sure is keeping you on your toes with all the walking, talking, climbing and playing at this age. And you may feel like you have a shadow everywhere you turn because your toddler can’t get enough of you and the exciting world around them!

Now that they’re mobile and on the go, their personality will start to shine. You may notice you have a chatty child or a quiet observer. Whatever you do or say, you’ll likely have a mini who wants to copy everything you do!

Developing Language Skills

By this time, most toddlers are saying at least three words, and some may even know up to fifteen.(1) Their language skills may still sound like gibberish—but you’ll learn to identify what they’re trying to say over time. And you’ll notice they’ll start to string two words together based on associations to form short sentences. If you go to a park, for example, you might hear your toddler say, “Play ball!” to express what they want to do.(1)

Constantly in Motion

You’ve probably noticed your toddler is always in motion! Now that he can walk without holding onto anyone or anything, the world is his oyster! Running, dancing, walking backwards, and climbing are ways your child may assert his independence and expend his energy.(2) If your child likes to climb on things, double-check your home’s childproofing systems to keep your active toddler safe.(2)

Discovering Independence

As your toddler develops language skills, you may find you have a bossy child on your hands! Hearing them say “no!” is common at this age as they are learning to assert their independence and preferences. (1) It may feel tiresome, and you may start to wonder if you have a tiny teenager on your hands! But small acts of defiance or rebellion are normal in toddlerhood.

Toddler Development: Milestones From 16 to 18 Months

While every child develops differently, there are a few milestones to look out for at this age.

Here are some things your child will likely do by the time they’re 18 months old:

Social/Emotional Checklist(3)

• Points at something interesting to show it to you

• Extends their hands for you to wash them

• Asserts independence but makes sure you’re still nearby

• Looks at short books with you, shows an interest in pictures(4)

• LIfts up a foot or puts an arm through a sleeve to get dressed

Language/Communication Checklist(3)

• Can say 3 or more words aside from “mama” or “dada”

• Understands up to 50 words(4)

• Points to familiar people or objects in pictures(4)

• Can follow simple, one-step directions (even if they’re not accompanied by a gesture)

• Repeats words they overhear in conversation(4)

• Shakes head yes/no in response to simple questions(4)

Movement and Physical Development Checklist(3)

• Scribbles with markers, pens, pencils, etc.

• Uses fingers to feed herself

• Uses a cup without a lid (spilling sometimes to be expected)

• Attempts to use a spoon

• Walks unassisted (and seldom falls)(4)

• Climbs on things without help (like a couch or chair)

• Can squat to pick up a toy(4)

Cognitive Checklist(3)

• Can play with simple toys (like pushing a toy truck)

• Will copy your actions (like sweeping with a toy broom as you clean)

What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 16 to 18 Month Old


Encourage Play with Other Children

If you’re worried you’re raising a self-centered child who can’t share, don’t fret—thinking the world revolves around him is a normal part of your toddler’s development. It’s okay that he doesn’t quite understand the concept of empathy yet or know that people have feelings or thoughts that differ from his own. Let your toddler engage in parallel play, or the type of play that happens side by side with other children. Over time, he’ll acquire the skills to play well with other children his age. Offer toy options during playdates. Consider hiding favorite toys to minimize possessiveness that may inspire hitting or biting.(5)

Model Sharing (But Understand When They Don’t Want To)

Sharing probably won’t come naturally to your 18-month-old, and that’s okay. Try to model good behavior and demonstrate what sharing looks like. The concept of sharing will become easier as your child develops, but don’t rush it. Accept that parallel play is more developmentally appropriate for this age.(8) Your child probably won’t fully understand what sharing means until they’re 3 or 4 years old.(10)

Set and Enforce Boundaries (But Avoid Saying ‘No!”)

It’s natural for your toddler to want to get into everything. At this age, they’re curious about the wide world around them! But your number one priority is keeping your child safe. So even though he may object, boundaries are necessary in accomplishing that. You can narrate boundaries as you’re enforcing them. Try saying things like, “You want to be barefoot, but you need to wear sneakers at the playground.” Or, “You want to have dessert now, but your body needs a healthy dinner first.”(6) Reserve a strong “no!” for when your child is in danger or hurting others—hitting or biting another child, for example.(7) This will make it more likely that they listen to you than if you say “no” frequently.(7)

Continue to Narrate Your Day

You’re probably already used to narrating your day as a way to develop your child’s vocabulary. Keep it up! Your toddler understands a surprising amount of what you say. And the more language you expose him to, the more new words he learns! Research shows that children who are spoken to more often process and understand words at a faster rate than children who are spoken to less.(7) If you regularly point out dogs when you’re on a walk with your toddler, for example, it will be easier for him to learn the word “leash” when you say, “Look at the dog on the leash.” This is because some of the words are already familiar to him.(7)

Sing Together

Did you know rhyming songs like “Humpty Dumpty” actually have a purpose? Singing rhymes together or reciting simple poems can help your toddler understand that certain sounds, words, or letters go together. (5) What great preparation for learning to read! And if your child mispronounces a word, repeat the word with the correct pronunciation so they can hear it—and try pronouncing it—again.(7)

Do a Safety Check

18-month-olds are frequently on the move and curious about everything. Avoid toys with small parts or magnets as those pose serious hazards to children. Keep baby gates up. Teach your child how to safely get down the stairs when accompanied. Be cognizant that your child may be learning how to open doors or baby gates. If you have a pool, make sure your toddler can’t get to it to avoid a tragedy. Consider signing up your toddler for swimming lessons, too.(9) While not a substitute for adult supervision, it’s a great way to introduce water safety skills. It also encourages parents and children to have fun in the water together.(9)

Embrace Every Stage

Support your child through all stages of development! To read more blogs like this with helpful parenting tips, subscribe to my newsletter!

You can also check out the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series for more information on how to help your child grow and learn at different stages.

References

1. https://www.scarymommy.com/your-16-18-month-old-toddler

2. https://www.thebump.com/toddler-month-by-month/16-month-old

3. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-18mo.html

4. https://pathways.org/growth-development/13-18-months/milestones/

5. https://www.pampers.com/en-us/toddler/development/article/16-month-old

6. https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/child-development/way-children/

7. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/18/parenting/milestones/your-18-month-old.html

8. http://www.theparentline.org/infant-toddler-development/16-18-months/

9. https://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/16-month-old.aspx

10. https://www.greatkidsinc.org/sharing-is-caringand-a-developmental-milestone/