Madeleine Vieira 11/28/22 Madeleine Vieira 11/28/22

Sensory Overload at Holiday Gatherings: 8 Tips to Prevent a Meltdown

The holidays can be a great time to reconnect with family and take part in our favorite traditions.

However, it can also be a time filled with loud conversations and crowded living rooms. Which some of us really enjoy, but others of us don’t quite feel the same.

If your child has a sensory processing disorder or just feels easily overwhelmed in loud spaces, the holidays may pose some challenges. Even as adults, sometimes holiday celebrations can get overwhelming.

Don’t worry. If you dread the holidays each year because of how stimulating they are for your child, there are some steps that you can take to help them. This article is split into what you should do before an event, at the event, and after sensory overload sets in.

Armed with the right knowledge, this holiday season could be the best one yet. Let’s get started!

The holidays can be a great time to reconnect with family and take part in our favorite traditions.

However, it can also be a time filled with loud conversations and crowded living rooms. Which some of us really enjoy, but others of us don’t quite feel the same.

If your child has a sensory processing disorder or just feels easily overwhelmed in loud spaces, the holidays may pose some challenges.(2) Even as adults, sometimes holiday celebrations can get overwhelming.

Armed with the right knowledge, this holiday season could be the best one yet. Let’s get started!

How To Prepare Well

When gearing up for any holiday gathering, you can do a few easy tasks to set your child up for success.

Prepare your child with a detailed description of who will be there and the events that will take place.

All children benefit from knowing what’s going to happen and what is expected of them before walking into a situation.(1) Especially if your child has anxiety about the event, this will likely help them not be overwhelmed right when they arrive because they know what to expect.

Dress them in comfortable clothing.

Itchy or scratchy clothing can cause sensory issues all by themselves. You don’t want their clothes adding to all the stimulation that happens at a holiday gathering. If your child does need to wear a particular outfit for church or picture, bring along something more comfortable for them to change into afterward.

It can also be helpful to let them pick out their outfit. They can pick their favorite and feel even more comfortable and confident.

Tell family members about your child and what extra help they may need

If you know for sure that there will be specific things that trigger your child, let your family know. You might tell them about certain stimuli that bother them, how to respond if they have a meltdown, or what extra assistance they may need.

What to Do Once You’ve Arrived

You’ve made it to the day of. How can you make it a success?

Make sure that your child eats often

Having low blood sugar is a quick way to become emotionally unregulated. Just like we as adults get irritable when we’re hungry, children feel the same way. They will be less able to stay calm and happy if they haven’t had enough to eat.

If you know that there won’t be many foods available that your child likes, consider bringing your own foods. Even just some snacks to get them through until you get home can be a lifesaver.

Try to avoid the sweets table

While the holidays are often full of yummy, sweet treats, try to limit how much sugar your child has. They will likely find it harder to control themselves during the ‘sugar high’ and then feel tired and cranky after the ‘sugar crash.’

Don’t force your child to make eye contact or hug family members

While these are often the social norms, forcing a child to do this in a situation where they already feel uncomfortable will likely lead to a meltdown. Children can struggle with eye contact or physical contact for a variety of reasons, but a large gathering is not the best time or place to work on these skills.

Stick as close to a normal bedtime and a nap schedule as possible

An overtired child is not a well-regulated child.(4) Even a child that doesn’t normally struggle with sensory input may find loud spaces overwhelming when they’re too tired. Make a game plan before arriving of where your child can sleep or when you need to leave so that they can stay on their schedule. Then, stick to the plan, even if they seem like they’re having a lot of fun. Often once overtiredness is apparent is when it’s too late to avoid its negative effects.

Tag team with your partner so that you both get to enjoy

If your child needs special attention throughout the night, try to switch off who is in charge with your partner. The last thing you want is for one parent to feel overwhelmed because of the constant care that they need to give throughout the event.

Give lots of praise for positive behaviors

Let your child know that you are proud of them when they sit nicely around the big, loud dinner table. Encourage them as often as you can throughout the event. This praise will go a long way.

Handling Sensory Overload in the Moment

What if you’ve done all the steps to prepare, but your child still experiences sensory overload? Take a deep breath. Know that it’s okay, and follow the steps below.

Keep watch for signs of overwhelm

It’s much easier to calm down a child who is only slightly overwhelmed than one that has been panicking for the last 30 minutes. As soon as you notice signs of sensory overload, jump into your plan.

These signs could include:(3)

Behavior that is hyperactive or aggressive
Appearing withdrawn or defiant
Increased whining
Increased clinginess to a caregiver
Covering their ears

Make up a code word to tell you if they need a break

An older child may be able to recognize when they are beginning to feel overwhelmed. Before you go to the event, discuss with them a code word that they can tell you so you know they need help. They may be embarrassed to say in front of everyone that they feel overstimulated, and this code word helps avoid that.

Have a plan for how to give them a break

It’s important to think about beforehand what will help your child calm down if they are feeling sensory overload. Maybe it’s their favorite stuffed animal or building blocks. They also might like to wear noise-canceling headphones.

For some children, getting their bodies moving and their blood pumping helps reduce their anxiety. You can encourage them to do 10 jumping jacks or 10 sit-ups.

Whatever it is that will help your child, make sure you bring it with you. Be familiar with the place that you’re going and scope out a quiet space that you can take them to if necessary.

Sensory overload can sometimes feel unavoidable with holiday gatherings. However, there are lots of best practices that you can employ to make this holiday season as enjoyable as possible.

Remember to let go of the expectation that everything will go perfectly smooth; this just isn’t possible with children! Nevertheless, you can still have a great holiday surrounded by the people that you love.

For more tips and tricks on parenting right in your inbox, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter. If there’s a specific topic you want more information on, check out my podcast Genius Little Minds.‍ ‍

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References

Madeleine Vieira 8/25/22 Madeleine Vieira 8/25/22

5 Tricky Toddler Behaviors for Parents and Caregivers to Understand

If you’re the parent of a toddler, chances are you’ve seen your fair share of temper tantrums, dealt with hitting or biting, or gotten into power struggles with your child.

While the toddler years are a wonderful time of exploration and development, they also can be trying on parents or caregivers.

One minute your child is being oh-so-sweet and angelic and the next they’re throwing a fit in the middle of the frozen food aisle.

Let’s tackle 5 tricky (but common) toddler behaviors and gain insight into why they occur.

If you’re the parent of a toddler, chances are you’ve seen your fair share of temper tantrums, dealt with hitting or biting, or gotten into power struggles with your child.

While the toddler years are a wonderful time of exploration and development, they also can be trying on parents or caregivers.

One minute your child is being oh-so-sweet and angelic and the next they’re throwing a fit in the middle of the frozen food aisle.

Let’s tackle 5 tricky (but common) toddler behaviors and gain insight into why they occur.

Why Does My Toddler Throw Temper Tantrums?

Temper tantrums are a normal part of childhood development. They’re your two- or three-year-old’s way of expressing big emotions they’re unable to regulate. Young children are not able to express frustration, anxiety, or anger the way older children or adults can because their brains are still immature.

It’s normal for toddlers to throw tantrums because they haven’t yet learned the ins and outs of:(2)

Impulse control
Communicating their needs or wants
Self-soothing
Delaying gratification
Problem solving
Navigating situations with appropriate responses

The good news is, by age three and a half, most children have few or no tantrums.(1)

There’s no such thing as a “tantrum disorder.”(2) But frequent or persistent tantrums may be an indication of a larger issue that needs to be addressed. Children with ADHD are particularly prone to outbursts or meltdowns because they struggle with poor impulse control and being bored.(2) A recent study showed that over 75% of children who had severe temper outbursts also fit the criteria for ADHD.(2) Children with autism or anxiety may struggle with unexpected changes or unfamiliar situations and have a tantrum as a result.(2) And children with sensory processing issues may have a tantrum if they are experiencing sensory overload.(2) Depression or undiagnosed learning disorders could also be contributing factors to children throwing tantrums.(2)

Emotion-regulation is a skill children need to be taught, just like problem-solving or communicating their needs.

And when a child can’t emotionally regulate, a tantrum, or two other common toddler behaviors, may ensue.

Why Does My Toddler Bite and Hit?

It may surprise you to learn that biting is a common behavior among toddlers. It typically happens when a child is trying to communicate a need or cope with a difficult emotion. For example, your toddler may become frustrated or mad when a sibling takes his toy. He needs to self-regulate and cope with the anger and frustration but doesn’t know how, so biting ensues.

A Few Reasons Toddlers May Bite or Hit:

They are still developing their impulse control skills
They don’t yet know how to delay gratification
They’re overwhelmed and don’t know how to regulate themselves
They lack the skills to communicate their strong feelings with words
They don’t understand what constitutes an appropriate response to dealing with a challenge

On episode 13 of Genius Little Minds, I give some tips for things you can do and say when your child has bitten another child. Check out the podcast episode here.

Why Does My Toddler Refuse to Share?

Sharing is tough! Even for adults, it’s sometimes difficult.

It’s not very realistic to expect your 2-year-old to be a competent sharer. They’re just too young to grasp the concept. They’re also lacking language skills to express themselves fully, so they often can’t explain why they just don’t want toshare.

So if your young toddler hasn’t yet mastered the art of sharing, don’t sweat it. This skill doesn’t develop until a child is about 3 and a half or 4 years old.(5)

Sharing is a learned skill, so talking about it (without imposing unrealistic expectation that it will happen overnight) can be helpful. Try pointing out moments in your daily life when sharing occurs, like when you share your food with your spouse or take turns using an electronic device.

Why Is My Toddler Not Seeking Independence?

You’ve probably heard that two-year-olds have a lot of opinions. After all, everyone says they love the word “no”, want to dress themselves and try new things. But what if your child doesn’t fit that description?

Of course as a parent, you play a huge role in your child’s life. Your behaviors and parenting style have a huge impact on how your child acts and interacts with the world.

Now I’m not here to shame anyone’s parenting... I know everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources available to them. But there are two parenting styles that can either encourage the development of autonomy or hinder it.

Autonomy Supporting Parenting

Also know as Autonomy Granting Parenting, Autonomy Supporting Parenting encourages independence in ways that are gentle and appropriate.(4)

Children with Autonomy Supporting parents are allowed to explore new, non-threatening situations without interference. (4) This teaches them independence and the idea that it’s OK to be themselves.

Protective Parenting

Protective Parenting is “the broad restriction of a child’s autonomy.”(4) And it “can increase the risk of child anxiety development.”(4)

To some degree, every parent is protective of their children. But Protective Parenting can interfere with a child’s discovery or the magical world of autonomy. It can hinder independent exploration and reduce their confidence.(4)

Interested in Learning More?

Check out this podcast episode for more information on these tricky — but common — toddler behaviors. Learn what to do when your toddler starts to hit the dog… or their sibling. Gain insight into how to handle a toddler who won’t get dressed, and what to do when your child simply won’t. stop. screaming. I also provide a few scripts for what to say to your toddler in these tough situations.

Equip yourself with knowledge and tools to help your child thrive. And be sure to subscribe to the Genius Little Minds podcast so you never miss an episode!

References